


Monster

by LydiaClairvoyanne



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, CEO!Sasuke, Disturbing Themes, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Modern AU, OOC!Naruto, OOC!Sasuke, Physical Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Seriously fucking disturbing content, Sexual Abuse, assistant!Naruto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:35:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydiaClairvoyanne/pseuds/LydiaClairvoyanne
Summary: There are stories you enjoy and come back to. There are stories you enjoy writing. There are stories you wish you found out about sooner, because it's nice, soothing, amusing, [...], hopeful to read them.And then, there's this story.(Written, like all of my stories, for deep personal self-therapeutic reasons.)
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 205
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

"How did you feel about that?" His therapist's emaciated voice asks.

"I honestly don't know," he chuckles. "It was humiliating, of course. It was like I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. I prayed that it would be over as soon as possible, that someone would find us and that he would see it, that someone would save me. "

It's been more than ten years and he still sees the whole situation alive. Disgusting trampled lino with many black smudges from the soles of shoes. On the opposite wall, about three meters away, is a notice board with an invitation to a local historian's author’s reading, one pushpin condom still in the cover, one very vulgar drawing of two figures, to whom someone added the names of a biology and IT teachers. White doors of dozens of metal cabinets. A overfull trash can, from which he ejected a cup of coffee, bought on the corner of the square near the bus stop. The smell of oranges in the hallway, because the children had them for school lunch today. The boundary of the shadow on the wall against the window, which slanted almost at right angles to the two framed paintings from the senior year of students who graduated five years back.

"And at the same time, I hoped it would never stop," he whispers like a secret.

And indeed, it has been a secret to this day. His secret. He looks up to see his therapist's face before daring to continue: "I could smell the natural scent of his body beneath the scent of his deodorant. His hands gripped me tightly and dominantly, as I had always longed for, albeit in a different context. He held me a few inches above the ground without straining. He was so big and strong against me, his freshly shaved face still smelling of aftershave, his pants were narrow enough for me to see his dick tense for a few seconds in his fit of rage. I knew it was adrenaline and anger, I knew it had nothing to do with sexual excitement, I knew… and yet I… I still couldn't… ”

He pauses to catch his breath. He sighs and the therapist gives him a few minutes to pick up his thoughts, rubbing tears into his eyes without knowing why. Maybe a relief. Maybe the tension he seemed to be experiencing again. It didn't pass, it didn't leave him, it didn't disappear. He hoped that in time these memories would leave him, or at least turn less colourful, but some remained so deep and so firm in his memory that he could not detach himself from them.

"I didn't even think to defend him," he admits to the therapist. "I just stood there and half wished it would never end. So that I can experience this every day for the rest of my life. "

There is a moment of silence. The therapist notes something in a script, then raises her head, tosses her hair, adjusts the glasses on her nose.

"Is the… the disunity you felt back then… still the same nowadays? Do you feel a change in the perception of the situation? I mean now and then? ”

He chuckles and shakes his head. "No. It's still the same. I know that pain will come because he hits me in the jaw, but I also know that the situation... excites me. "

"Are you more excited about the situation, or the man?" The woman in her forties asks.

The client shrugs: "Do you mean Stockholm Syndrome?"

The therapist smiles and stirs in her chair a little. She takes off her glasses with one hand and puts the end of the templetip to her lips, as if thinking, "Do you think it's too primitive?"

"Isn't all our instinctive behavior primitive?"

"Was  _ your  _ behaviour?" The therapist opposes. "Then, and now too?"

He looks away, while her face looks triumphant for a moment. He didn't come here to let her win over him. And he didn't come here to keep all his secrets to himself.

"Yes, probably yes. If instinctive means primitive, then yes. My actions are primitive,” and he sounds almost angry.

"But isn't this exactly what distinguishes a human from an animal? The animal reacts instinctively, because it cannot do otherwise. But man…?”

"We have brain capacity that allows us to feel complex processes, such as emotions, motives, will, and so on. What does it have to do with the fact that I was bullied at school and I still feel like I'm the weak one who will be bullied all my life?” The young man frowns.

"Try to imagine the situation from the opposite side for a moment. From his,” the therapist tells him. "You are now the young man who has brutally manipulated you in this way, and he is now you, the one who is brutally manipulated."

The client, although disappointed with the current situation, still listens to his therapist. He tries to compile the situation as he remembers it, but to immerse himself in the body and mind of a man who tried to ruin his life and almost succeeded. It only takes a few seconds, the amazement at the power he suddenly has at his disposal. He looks at himself as he remembers from his memories. Cream pants, white shirt, olive vest. What would he do with this boy…?

"What would you do in place of the predator? If you could influence him, if you were him and you would decide where and how you will vent your strength or your opinions. What exactly would you do in this situation, but in his place?”

The young man's breathing in a comfortable chair opposite the therapist's pounding. It is similar to the feeling of excitement he experienced in this situation in his own body, but this one is stronger in the sense of more confident. I am the master of the situation now. I will now decide what will happen.

And what will he decide? He is stretched out, holding the boy by the neck and wants to physically hurt him for no reason at all, except for one thing: a boy he is holding by his collar a few inches above the ground, is gay. But if he wasn't. If only he were an ordinary boy going to this school. What if he was a man bullying others? What would he do in that case?

His palms are drenched in sweat and he wipes them on his pants on the sides of his thighs. There is something soothing, lukewarm and yet  _ sober  _ in that gesture. It was as if a lascivious arrogance had crept into his mind to show the boy the meaning of the word  _ powerful _ . 

"Would you hit the boy to be in his place?" The therapist asks.

_ Yes _ .

"No," the client replies with a slight smile. "Of course not, it would be primitive."

The therapist smiles and closes the folders. "I don't think you have an unrealistically low self-esteem. You just need to be properly aware of who you are, what you are capable of, and what your strengths are. I read in your file that you are very successful. You will see for yourself, very soon, the results will come and your self-confidence will return to normal. Maybe you should think about a relationship…? Nothing like this can happen to you anymore, can it? ”

"No, it probably can't," her client admits with a smile, but hiding something inside - something scary.

But the therapist does not notice. "You see. We can make another appointment in a month or a fortnight, depending on how it suits you. We can discuss your relationship with your father there. "

"Yes, that would help me a lot, thank you. Better in a fortnight, please. "

"Good," the therapist gets up, and so does the client. "it was nice to meet you, Mr. Uchiha."

"Me too, madam. Thank you for your help, "he shakes her hand and is about to leave.

"Make another appointment with my assistant. Until then, bye. "

"Thank you." the client says goodbye and closes the door behind him.

He gives the assistant, who raises her head when the door opens, a small smile before asking her to order in a fortnight.

"Your name, please?" The assistant asks exaggeratedly.

"Sasuke Uchiha," the client introduces himself.

The assistant stares at the tablet screen for a moment, then notifies him that he has another session on Thursday at five o'clock. She prints a very elegant card with the therapist's name, address, date and time of the next appointment. Sasuke is pleased by the elegance.


	2. Chapter 2

Sasuke was growing quite restless. He needed to calm down, focus on important things, and organize his thoughts, but his brain refused to obey orders. His thoughts were with his first kiss with a girl, right next to the therapist's earrings, right next to an advertising project for a company. He was singing some old Kansas songs, with the last episode of Game of Thrones in the background, which he watched a few days ago with friends. He wasn't able to focus on anything while he focused on everything at the same time. He was nervous about his own inability to concentrate. It didn't matter, he just needed to arrange the beehive, into which swirling thoughts had turned his brain. It was Tuesday afternoon, and he had time off, so he decided that spending such a precious time alone was wasteful.

That's why he decided to call Sakura to meet him at the corner of the main and Twelfth. When he spends time shopping, it always takes his thoughts in the right direction. A sunny afternoon stands in his back as he applies BB cream on his forehead and nose and a little mascara on the top row of lashes. He also uses one of those expensive unisex fragrances that his mother supplies him with, and he has to admit when he looks in the mirror, that he looks smoking hot. When deciding whether to wear a blue or pink shirt, it occurs to him that he could go all rebel and put on only a printed T-shirt and skinny black jeans. When he looks in the mirror, he is suddenly five years younger. It's almost like he's back in university. He ruffles his hair to give them a look of sloppy elegance, and takes only what he needs before he leaves the apartment.

Sometimes he feels that his life is incomplete. That there is something that simply passes him by, that he lacks, that makes him incomplete. He always thought it was just the forced feeling he had throughout his childhood that being gay meant he wasn't good enough for society, because it meant he couldn't have a wife and couldn't have children. But this feeling disappeared - he can find a partner and adopt a child if he longs for it so much. However, he does not lack a partner or a child in his young life. He has friends, he has his freedom, he has a perfect job, he has a beautiful apartment. He's gotten far enough in life, being this young. True, he owes it primarily to his father, but still. He is satisfied with himself. Only sometimes it is as if there is a ghost behind him, or is it just his shadow whispering to him from a terrifying closeness that something is not as it should be. Something is wrong. Something is not complete. Something is not as right as Sasuke pretends to be. But the more he focuses on it, the  _ harder  _ it is to focus on it. It's like being short-sighted and trying to focus on a star in the sky without glasses; when you look directly at it, the star disappears. However, when you look right next to it, the star shines as brightly as a firefly in a raspberries on Midsummer's night.

"Sakura!" He calls from a distance of barely twenty meters when he sees his dear friend on the corner with five other girls.

"Sasuke, darling, hello! How were you? Have you been to that therapist? You have to tell me  _ everything _ , baby. You know Innie and Sofia, but, dear, you saw Gertrude at that charity party a week ago, and these are my colleagues, Danielle and Eve,” Sakura, his dear friend from University, chatters. 

"Good afternoon, ladies, I'm glad you joined, the more the merrier," Sasuke laughs, kissing all the girls on the cheek.

He likes to stay in the company of women, they can deal with fashion, makeup, celebrities, gossip, everything that helps him relax. Gertrude immediately suggests that she needs a manicure, of course none of the ladies in their thirties nor Sasuke will miss it. One of the town’s best studios is right here on the street, Innie reminds her, and Danielle immediately accuses her of wanting to go there because there is a very cute boy working, to which Sasuke reacts positively and insists they all should go there. The ladies giggle delightfully and start talking over each other about who is definitely gay at work and who Sasuke should come and check out at the accounting office. Sasuke doesn't take any offence from them, it's a kind of fun for white women between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five, and he doesn't find anything that would bother him on such behaviour.

They spend a pleasant afternoon, after which they decide on an evening out, first dinner then clubs. When Sasuke takes a taxi around eleven in the evening to take him and his entourage, a charming man in his forties, to the apartment of the older man who apparently has plans for Sasuke, the shadow or perhaps the guardian angel on his shoulder whispers to him again that he is missing something. He refuses to deal with this and prefers to let the older man get rid of his shoes and pants and take him to bed. Sasuke lets himself get rid of the boxer with hurried passionate kisses, so that he can be rolled up on his stomach and kissed on the neck without any remorse- he is only young once - so he got up on his drums and stood on all fours to offer his lover better view and also better approach.

"You alone, or can I?" Asks the man, whose name Sasuke didn't even try to remember, holding a bottle of lubricant.

"You can if you want," Sasuke sniffs loosely, and the upper half of his body sinks into the soft sheets.

The man does not hesitate to make sure whether the young man is sure or not, rubs two of his fingers of his right hand with lubricant and not really carefully enters his submissive partner with them. Sasuke doesn't complain, on the contrary, he meets the relentless fingers with intensity and vigor of his own. When the man puts on a condom, Sasuke gets the feeling that something is bothering him again. It affects him, it's quite strong and dense, but it has no specific form. It's like a hunch, but different. It doesn't leave a chill in his back or a strange itch behind his neck, it feels more like he forgot something, but he couldn't remember what it was, yet he was sure there was nothing to forget, nothing to miss, noone to miss. 

Sex is kind but boring, as if it was taking place on a bed behind a wall, as if a swollen six-inch penis had invided someone else's anus. He couldn't succumb to the intoxicating feeling as always, and at the same time he couldn't understand why; according to him, the reason for his unrest was neither real nor realistic nor  _ justified _ . It seems unfair to him, not to focus on sex, which he would otherwise consider good, it would certainly be seven, maybe even eight out of ten. When the man reaches orgasm, he tries to feel for Sasuke's erection to help him reach the top, but Sasuke decides that the distraction was enough for today. He gets out of bed and starts looking for his things, after which the man calls him a taxi without asking. Sasuke gets dressed and smiles at the man before leaving, wishing him a pleasant rest of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

The fresh night air will do him good, or so Sasuke thinks so. He doesn't have a jacket with him, which means he doesn't even have cigarettes. Who knows why it drives him crazy. He wants to buy a pack, but there’s the taxi in front of the building already and Sasuke is pretty tired. His ass hurts too. Who knows why he smiles.

"Important night, eh?" The taxi driver strikes a conversation.

"You know how it is - a young boy in a big city," Sasuke chuckled, fastening his seat belt.

He's not that young as he likes to make it seem, but he likes to be small and weak in front of older men. It flatters him how they are flocking to the overflow to take care of him. However, the taxi driver is in his thirties, which means he is not much older than Sasuke himself, and for that solemn reason he isn’t attractive, in Sasuke’s eyes.

"And what brings you here tonight, young sir? Studies?”

"No, I actually work for my father's company. Intern, you know," he laughs boyishly, and just for that effect he wraps one of the longer strands of his black hair behind his ear.

The taxi driver measures him through the rear-view mirror. "Young people know how to deal with themselves, nowadays. All the entertainment of youth and freedom. The night city has always attracted adventure. "

"Grandma always said that walking out after sunset was a sin," Sasuke suddenly realizes, almost flirting with the poor man.

"No, young sir," the driver misleads him as he turns onto the street where young Sasuke has an apartment. "It would be a sin not to take advantage of everything the city has to offer."

And essentially, Sasuke agrees. He pays the taxi driver and enters his apartment strangely excited, aroused by someone he missed during sex with a charming man in his forties. He really lacks something in his life, but Sasuke can’t for the life of him figure out what it is. He collapses in a chair on the balcony and watches the night sky for a moment before looking down on the city. He remembers what the therapist told him. He closes his eyes and imagines himself once more in the position of the other boy. Strength, sweat, anger, determination, ability and physical and mental preconditions for physical violence. Does it impress him? Does it scare him? This is not mutually exclusive. He might need a stronger insight into his head, but for that he would have to dive back into all the memories he would rather let sleep. He didn't know if it was a mistake to go to the psychologist, but he knew he had opened the door, which he had kept closed for way too long. No childhood trauma would go away on its own, and Sasuke knew a little about that.

Maybe this apartment is big for him, he thinks as he looks back into the spacious living room. Maybe he should take Jacob's advice and find a roommate. This loneliness is not good for his skin. After all, he is at the age when most people look for a friend. Even Sakura is getting tired of the constant flirtation and is seriously looking for the father of her future child, which Sasuke could honestly laugh at now, in the silence of his own suite. God, such kitsch. The corrected nymphomaniac is looking for a lasting relationship, marked  _ Free _ . He laughs louder. He gets up and goes to the kitchen, tonight would be wise to end with something classic. He finds olives in the fridge, Italian ice cream in the freezer, and fresh pastries on the shelf, and shrugs, he was combining worse things while studying at university. Once, he and his roommate, who happened to be an art student so he was gay too, ate nothing but crackers with ham all week. He gets stomach ache since then as soon as he  _ looks  _ at some fucking crackers.

When he returns to the terrace, he notices that the wind has changed. He has to adjust his sails, he laughs quietly to himself, undresses naked and stays still for a while. Who knows why nudity over the big city gives him a sense of strength and, why not admit it, superiority. He thinks about the feeling for a moment, looking in his memory for where the feeling might have come from. Is it trauma from his father? Or from high school years? Or is it his own nature that has crystallized from the constant exploitation he has received all his life…? And far from just from the father's side.

He returns to the apartment and looks at the new sweater that Sakura has chosen for him. Light pink with white trim. It fits strangely to his porcelain skin, which is strange, he has dark, dark eyes - he is more of a type for gray sweaters, purple accessories, plum make-up. He knows his skin type, he knows what suits him and he knows how attractive it is. One day, one of those fat college girls who studied literature, who are sarcastic and pretending that such ordinary things as beauty just don't swipe them, told him that he was the type of guy who isn’t anyone's type, but everyone falls in love with. 

Till nowadays Sasuke thinks it’s the most significant compliment he’s eve received.

He raises his head and looks at his reflection in the glass door that leads to the patio. There is something in him. Something that is hard to describe. He tries in vain to remember if it was in him already when he was young, closeted and in high school. And if so, how is it possible that all those who bullied him overlooked or did not see or did not want to see or could not see it. Because if Sasuke remembered correctly, no one had ever come to his aid - he had relied on himself and his father's protection most of the time; not on his… attractivity, his voice or influence or money - well, those were also his father’s. 

Father.

This is also a topic for several weeks in session. However, a therapist whose name is not important for this story, can help him at least in this. Today, after all, she gave him a very interesting perspective, although her eye shadows did not match her irises, and burgundy is  _ definitely  _ not a color for her skin type. It never occurred to him to look at the whole situation, which he thought shaped his whole life, from a completely different angle. And what about my father's gaze? To his son? Sasuke crunches his neck on both sides, then disappears into the bathroom. He needs to wash away the feeling of sex that persists in him. As much as he didn't feel any need to come a moment ago, he didn't even have time to shampoo his hair, and his dick was already rock hard. He lets his imagination wander among Sakura, Juugo, his current lover, a taxi driver, but most of all, he mainly focuses on a young man who meant hell as well as paradise for his student years. He tugs himself rather inadvertently and comes quickly, sharply, unnecessarily intensely. Orgasm is half painful, half sweet. He tilts his head and moans, loud and playful, despite the fact that the neighbors in the surrounding apartments had gone to sleep a long, long time ago.

He leans against the wall of the shower and stares at the ceiling for a moment.

Yep. 

Something’s missing here. 


	4. Chapter 4

When he wakes up to a new day, he almost gets offended; his bed is empty and cold. Yesterday's vague feeling that he was missing something is particularly intense as well as very specific. A colorful awakening to a pleasantly damp morning, isn't it?

He dresses slowly and tenderly. He gets acquainted carefully with every piece of pleasant and expensive material in which he wraps his body - from pink panties through light gray socks with lace to a light purple sweater. He was not feeling well when all his clothes did not go well, including those that could not be seen (publicly). He can afford it in his own company, ie his father's, but it doesn't matter, because his father only owns the company. He doesn't lead it, he left it to his beloved son, haha. But what his father can't see doesn't hurt him. In addition, his father doesn't necessarily have to know what is going on in the company unless it is a business matter, does he.

Sasuke decides he doesn't need to know the daily schedule because he has a secretary. That's what she's there for, isn't she? To tell him where and when he should be and what anyone wants from him. So he just takes his beloved Mac and leaves the apartment the moment he sees his driver parked at the house.

  
  


"Good morning sir."

"Good morning, Alfred," he greets as he sits in the back seat.

You’ve got no idea how hard it is to get a driver named Alfred in this city.

The Uchiha building rises in the middle of a circular square like a cathedral at a time when cathedrals were the city's most valuable buildings. Today, however, it is a building designed by his father when he was only three years older than Sasuke is nowadays. However, at that time there were also different worlds. Different regime, different government, different time and different salary classification. Today, the only beloved son of the big boss could not even go to cosmetics for his father's first salary in that company.

"Hello, Karin," Sasuke smiles at the young woman in the ax. "How are you, darling?"

"Good morning, sir," the woman greets him coldly. "They've been waiting for you for an hour."

"Time is money, honey, and these companies can afford to waste it," Sasuke assures her.

"They're interested in your position as a personal assistant," Karin said.

"Oh."

He frowns and looks at his watch unnecessarily. He forgot about it. "Well, at least they have the advantage that I slept like a baby and I'll be very nice. I'll even overlook the lies in resumes."

He winks at the secretary and ignores her rolling eyes, and enters his office on the top floor of the building. True, his father has an office opposite him, but he only shows up occasionally. The other side of the coin is all the more interesting, isn't it? The therapist will be amazed at the primitive initial reactions. Sasuke, on the other hand, remembers reading something somewhere that the more successful a man is, the more ruthless his behavior is. Which, of course, points to his father's emotional intelligence, and, let's be honest, his intelligence as such. His father was a great man, aggressive, lukewarm and elegant. An always withdrawn gentleman that every woman would want to attract, but none would want at home. He is not exactly a loving and benevolent person full of understanding and emotion.

As soon as Sasuke has coffee brought to him, one of the managers knocks on his door that it is necessary to do this, be there and pay for it. It's not Sasuke's favorite job, but he admits that he has to make living out of something.

  
  


"The assistant candidates are still outside, waiting," Karin reminds him coldly as he brings a tray of a jug of water and glasses to his office.

"Well, yes, of course. Can you pass the first one, dear, please,” he asks lazily and adjusts his sweater. If he knew he would have newcomers here, he would at least wear a tie. He feels a bit naked now.

Sasuke looks at the same thing for every candidate, whether it's a woman or a man: hair, nails, shoes. That says the most about a person. The first is a woman, a very simple gray mouse from every point of view. She doesn't even have a manicure for God's sake. He smiles at her and assures her that he will respond within a week. Next is a man with a military cut, shorts and a shirt from the 80’s. Sasuke doesn't even bother to smile when he stops the man after three minutes and throws out of the office. The third person has bitten nails, lasting a minute and a half in Sasuke's office, which is a minute and a half longer than Sasuke can withstand. Another woman is almost sixty and for God's sake she doesn't even have a degree. Another woman has a Karen-haircut and red sandals to a small green dress. Fainting comes to Sasuke. Another man has a small jacket, but he speaks without speech impediments, understands finance and economics, and Sasuke must say that he also has charisma for his age. He is the first candidate to meet Sasuke's ideas by ten percent, and he’s being generous at that. He probably has no nerves with other candidates, he can barely drink his coffee, and it's happening again. One woman has blond highlights from the footpath and looks like a witch, the other pulls out of her mouth for a hundred miles, the third does not know how to work with Excel, the fourth has a perm for god’s sake…! Then Sasuke flees and prefers to go to meetings with his managers. It's boring, but at least Sasuke can't just tell from their breath what they had for breakfast today.

"Why can't I leave this to the HR?!" Sasuke puts his face in his hands at lunch.

"Stay calm, Sasuke," Sakura mocks him. "You wanted to pick a sexy man yourself. One that would not only be super pleasing to the eye, but ideally so that he could do at least half the work for you, if not more. So you have to choose it yourself. "

"I know, I know," the young man moans. "But If I have to let a man with muddy scoundrels into my beautiful and elegant office one more time, I swear I'll take him on with the replica of Isildor's Lord of the Rings sword that’s hanging on the wall behind me."

Sakura is a tad too boring to laugh with him, so he just rolls his eyes and strokes the scattered and suffering Sasuke's hair. "You will find a handsome daddy who will work for you and do it in your ass on your father's desk. That's fair, isn't it?”

Sasuke bursts out laughing just at the thought. His father would ideally enter the room the moment Sasuke would lay on the desk stark naked, swallowing his assistant's semen with his head bowed over the edge of the table so that everything was clearly visible. His father would be hit by a slag, at best. Sakura, on the other hand, is the only one who understands that Sasuke is attracted to a certain type of men - just a common daddy kink. 

Which is water for his father's mill, but Sasuke has the theory that what his father doesn't see doesn't hurt him. And Sasuke has a lot of reasons why to avoid him at all cost. His parents don't officially know about his sexuality - mother would silently pray and drink more, and his father would probably laugh, after which Sasuke would be crossed out of his will. Sure, his father suspects that his son is not completely normal, but it is true that Sasuke never had the full courage to tell him the true nature of his problems at school. His father knew that Sasuke was weak, unable to defend himself, and literally a sports disaster. Not only does he not good at it, but mainly he does not enjoy anything that his father pays attention to in his free time. But his father insisted that he and his son have a common interest, and while Sasuke excels in a game of mind, logic, and pragmatics, and let's face it, control of a certain type of men, his father is a typical hard bigoted force. He loves football and hockey or baseball, typical male contact games, but he also likes tennis or just stupid golf. True, eventually his father settled on Wednesday's two-hour swimming. And it's also the only sport in which Sasuke is naturally better than his father, because it's not about muscles, strength or strategy or rules, but only about how to distribute the weight in the body and how to breathe. Everything else is irrelevant, which, of course, does not appear to a father obsessed with muscles and play. On Sunday of golf once a month, Sasuke and his father suffer, but it's not so much a quality time with his son, but rather a meeting with business partners who take turns at their father's private golf course a few kilometers outside the city. And in this case, Sasuke must admit that his father came up with a brilliant idea, although he big boss admitted to his son that he stole the idea from Beverly Hills 90210, a popular series from the 90’s. It was the first and last time that a father and son laughed sincerely together.


	5. Chapter 5

His father avoids the designed building in which he built a huge company from scratch, like the devil avoids the cross. He receives guests at his summer residence, partners on a private yacht or in the best restaurants in the world. His mother, on the other hand, appreciates her father's need to travel - Sasuke is not a child, he knows that marriage was not out of love. After all, he was also not conceived to be loved. Sasuke saw his father very little as a child, mostly not at all, and when he saw him, his father did not have time to pay attention to him. When the only son left the residence and went to university and studied in a different country every year because Fugaku Uchiha needed to make acquaintances in different places, he didn't see his father at all - and he tried to make up for it once a year, mostly around Christmas. Sasuke didn't blame his father's disinterest, on the contrary, he blamed him for trying to fix it now, unnecessarily one or two decades later. In fact, it is rather embarrassing moments of silence and very urgently pretended phone calls on both sides of the genetic branch. That's why Sasuke almost trips on the threshold of his own office when he returns from lunch with the girls, when he sees his father standing at his desk looking down at the busy Third Street below them.

And so the mountain went to Muhammad…?

"Father, um, good afternoon," Sasuke greets him a little shakily, not expecting an inspection, let alone in his own office.

"Good afternoon," replies the almost omnipotent Fugaku Uchiha a little harshly. The truth is that it is the father's neutral tone that does not mean anything bad. Sasuke was always a little scared, but he knew very well that his father was not an evil, or violent man.

"What do I owe for your visit?" Sasuke smiles and closes the door behind him.

"And those people in the hallway?"

"Personal assistance interview," the young man explains, and offers a gesture to his father, offering his own chair behind the table, he himself sitting in the first guest chair.

"Oh, finally. I asked Kakashi how you're doing here,” Fugaku pauses and loosens the button on his jacket. Sasuke regrets that he didn't take his suit today, he definitely feels naked in front of his father. "He says you introduced a few changes with the company's seniors. You are going to start another department, you stepped on invoicing and fired a lot of people ... "

Sasuke does not react, he is waiting for his father's verdict - it is his company, Sasuke is in an executive position, but he is still not the executive director or owner of the company. Theoretically, Sasuke has not the slightest right to establish a department and do purges.

"You also changed the order of your meetings. And I'm not even talking about how much work managers have - and they have to report everything. I was on balance and everyone there knows your name. They hate the new system, which forbids them from smoking every hour. And I won't even mention the relocation of the front office to downtown,” the father leans back in his chair and examines his son carefully. 

Sasuke is wearing his girly colors again, and Fugaku can't help but admit that his son looks healthy, confident, and those pinkish colors look strangely good on him. It's nothing Fugaku would wear, of course, but his strange youthful clothes suit his child even here, in the deputy director's office. Maybe he should have listened more to Mikoto, his beloved wife. Just because his son doesn't love football and doesn't go for beer doesn't mean he can't be perfect at his job.

"You manage pretty well for only half a year here," he growls, and Sasuke is almost taken away. A masculine compliment? From father? Seriously?!?

"I had good teachers," Sasuke said.

His father grunts contentedly and looks at Sasuke's daily schedule on his laptop - he and his father have the same system password, which Sasuke knows, so he includes clean and only work things in his daily schedule, as well as concentrating on keeping them all in the same place and all in order. Praise from his father is as important to him as emotionally as it is traumatically. Basically, Fugaku is to blame - even for Sasuke's daddy kink.

"Kakashi says you're worse than me," Dad looks up from the monitor. "You work harder. You are here often. ”

Therefore came…? Ask if his only son is collapsing? "I enjoy my work, Father."

It gives me a sense of power. But he does not intend to tell his father about it.

Fugaku looks into his child's eyes. He is so different from himself; there is not much masculinity or respect in him, he is such a wettiny kitten at first glance. Nevertheless, he is capable enough to run almost the entire company by himself. And that he doesn't like hockey? Fugaku can easily accept this.

"I wanted to - I just wanted to scare you at first. Put the whole company on your shoulders and watch how you deal with it, and how you panic and eventually help you. I wanted to teach you a lesson,” Fugaku can be very hard on his subordinates, despite the fact that he is his own son. "For how quickly you tried to take my place. You saw yourself arrogantly in my chair, and I wanted to show you that it's no fun, so much responsibility, but you're... like you were born for it. ”

Sasuke decides not to take his father's words personally, he understands that in a way it is a compliment, but the only thing Sasuke feels about his words is disappointment again. Uchiha jr. is simply not his father, he does not have it in himself, he is so much worse, so much weaker, so much less experienced. He lacks a kind of spark, a natural authority and a character that does not allow concessions and other places.

Sasuke is simply of a different caliber. He swears he will not speak until his father asks a question. It's the only sensible way to talk politely to his father. There is no point in taking his words to heart - Fugaku is the CEO, the big boss, the leader, he is not a father who would raise children or be a role model for anyone.

Fugaku's son's silence really upsets him a little. Where is the youthful energy that forces young people to oppose a direct superior? Where is the militancy, the desire to prove that he is better, younger, stronger, more predatory? Fugaku doesn't understand what concept Sasuke works on, unless it's intimidation of employees and an ice mask of professionalism, which was probably not even a mask - his father was just like that. He didn't hurt - but he didn't praise, either.

"I'm surprised," my father summed up his speech.

Sasuke isn't sure what it is he wants here. He needs to speak, his silence is strange, but his father still hasn't asked a question. He obviously frustrates his father as much as he frustrated his child.

"It never occurred to me that you might be really good at this," Fugaku continues, as if he doesn't know how to get a word out of his son.

_ Thanks for the trust, Father _ , Sasuke notes in his mind, but he doesn't show anything on the outside, he just bows his head slightly. Which obviously confuses the owner of the company.

"Is there anything I can do while I'm here?”

Finally a question. 

"I pass everything that needs your attention to your hotspot or directly to the business e-mail, if absolutely necessary. I try to plan everything so that it is enough to sign it once every two weeks when you come to the office. If there's anything urgent, I'll bring it with me to the family dinner. I had no idea you were coming, therefore nothing here needs your immediate attention, unless there's something you're interested in. "

"I'm interested... in you," Fugaku insists, still with that strange look on his face. "I wanted to punish you for your audacity but as it seems, I should be ashamed. That I underestimated you. Didn't see your talent. "

Sasuke also has nothing to say about it, so he is silent, his head tilted slightly to emphasize his submissive position. It is smarter not to irritate the big boss.

"Actually, your mother… kicked me out to apologize… That I hurt you. ”

Sasuke won't argue with his father. He doesn't want anything from him - he long ago understood that he was given wealth, beauty and talent, not family happiness and love and understanding. He didn't want to complain to anyone, it suited him. And that he had a rough childhood? So do millions of others, without his wealth.

"I rushed to this job not because I wanted to see myself in your place. I didn't mean to kick you out of your position. I wanted you to see me as a son, to take me as an equal, to acknowledge that I have the same. To have something in common, to match you on a professional level. I never wanted to replace you. I thought if I was as good as you, you'll start liking me." Sasuke gets up from his chair and adjusts his sweater. "Today I know the universe doesn't work that way, Father."

Sasuke smiles at his shocked father, bows his head, and leans his palms against the back of the chair he just got up from. "If there's nothing I can do for you, I have to ask you to give space to the adepts for my assistant post, I'd hate to keep them here until midnight."

He escorts the shocked father out the door. “Tell mother I love her."

His father places a palm on his son's wrist and says between the door frames, "You're doing a great job here. Like I said, you were made for this position. ”

And he said it loud enough for not only the entire department, but also his potential assistants in the lobby to hear . Sasuke turns bright red - he does feel honored.

"Thank you, Father," he bows his head slightly and briefly, his father imitating his gesture, and they both feel as proud as embarrassed.

Fugaku Uchiha turns around and proudly leaves his son's office, who stays between the doors for a moment before catching the eye of a manager's assistant looking at him through two pairs glasses (one for reading, which he wears when solving crossword puzzles, and the other to distances she holds in her hand before her eyes, so that she doesn't miss a single wink of the company's leaders). Uchiha Jr. raises his chin - even today, the whole company will know what the big boss said to his son about running the company. And my father must have been aware of that.


	6. Chapter 6

Sasuke's week is simply awful. After his father's visit, he is unable to focus on a single aspect of his life. Yesterday he even forgot that he had a manicure, and he has been going to it every week at the same time for almost five years now. For some reason, he can't imagine what kind of dark power whispered to his father to go visit his only child and say such praise in front of so many people. Yesterday, the manager of the development department himself congratulated him on the fact that no one had ever heard such praise from Fugaku. 

Sasuke is like a thorn, as if waiting for something. He feels a certain emptiness in his life that none of the Daddies he brought to his loft during the week can fill in, or drive away. Sasuke is almost desperate. Plus, he still couldn't find his right hand at work. He wonders for a moment if he would be able to do all this work on his own. He chuckles at his thoughts as he remembers what awaits him just next week - he needed an assistant six months ago, now this whole selection process is a bit hasty.

"Do you have a demanding job?" the therapist asks.

"I have..." Sasuke measures the special frames of oversized glasses that don't suit her, "an interesting and time-flexible job. It is not demanding in terms of time or creativity, it is demanding otherwise. ”

"Are you responsible for a lot of people?"

"Yes, that. There are only a few real decisions for me, but those are not easy."

"For you, or for the people who work for you?"

Sasuke raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. "Actually, I don't know. I honestly never thought to divide it. If it's a difficult decision for me, it's probably not easy to make for the whole company as a result. "

"It depends on what you decide," says the therapist, shifting the distracting rims of the glasses more to her nose. "What will ultimately convince you to choose between this or that."

Sasuke swings his leg: "I decide what is best for the company."

"So you're focused on profit."

"No, far from it. I focus on functionality. On good advertising. On…” he stops hastily at that.

"Go on," the woman asks gracefully.

"On... my father's opinion," it is strange to speak openly.

"You carry the burden of the previous generation," the therapist begins in a strange tone. "It's probably not easy to take care of something you didn't create."

Sasuke frowns, "I don't understand what you mean."

"It’s..." she folds the boards and thinks about what she wants to say. Sasuke is running out of patience. "Difficult," the therapist finally chooses, "to continue with something that is not your vision. Especially if you could deceive someone you care deeply about. ”

"So in other words, daddy issues," the young man chuckles, stretching his arms along the armrests of a comfortable loveseat.

The therapist blushes slightly and bows her head to maintain her artificial professionalism, but nods. "Yes, basically yes. Now that we've started on your father's topic, why don't you tell me about him?”

Sasuke shrugs, "There's not much to say. My father never had time for me, and I always wanted him to consider me at least as fit, if not equal. ”

"Does it still affect you in the decisions you make in your personal life?" he asks.

Sasuke licks his lips and remembers all his lovers from the past ten years. Or at least by type, some common trait, dominance. "Rather, tell me what it would mean, if not."

The therapist smiles and notes something in her files. Before answering, he takes his client's look down: "I would add a few points to the pathological scale in your case."

"You think I'm a psychopath?" Sasuke wonders.

"You are a young man in a leadership position, of course you have some signs of a psychopath," the therapist misleads him.

"For example?"

"Narcissism, selfishness, stubbornness, self-confidence, self-obsession," the therapist lists blindly, without looking at the files. "But on the other hand, you're not aggressive or violent and you're obviously not playing with people. You are an honest person and you do not need to tell legends about yourself.”

Sasuke chuckles - he knows, and he could find this out from any google personality quizzes. "I'm not infallible and I'm definitely not irreplaceable. I probably agree with the rest."

The therapist makes a note of something in the folder, after which she begins to look a little more human. Sasuke doesn't feel so out of place.

"It is a bad thing?" the young CEO asks.

The therapist has a smile on her face now: “I wouldn't say it’s a bad thing. On the contrary, personal traumas are intertwined in your life, I would say. Probably from childhood, I guess we both know who their cause is - that is, the primary, not the one into whom you incarnated these traumas. "

"I don't understand," Sasuke interrupts.

The woman slides her awkward glasses on her nose and straightens a little. "Last time we talked about you were probably most influenced in your life by the fact that you were bullied throughout your schooling, which you remember. Mainly because you are a child of wealthy parents, because you were small and tiny, but also because your differed taste in fashion or make-up and, moreover, you were not interested in sports. Later, your sexuality and your distinctive style added to these factors. But we also indicated today that the origin of this problem is deeper somewhere, right?”

The young man tilts his head to the side and thinks about his whole childhood once more. He loved his mother, of course, and she loved him, just didn't show it. Father was disappointed, so he preferred to run from the failed child until the child brought home a diploma and applied for a job in the Uchiha company so eagerly that the father allowed it. And now, years and years later, Fugaku can recognize that even Sasuke, his failed son, is quite good at something - and even the same thing as the father himself.

"Maybe," Sasuke admits reluctantly, yet he knows and is willing to admit at least to himself that the very inelegant woman is right. "But I can't blame him for all my traumas, that would be unfair to him."

While the therapist obviously superficially nods and notes something in her notebook, Sasuke wonders how many characteristics all his former lovers have in common with the boy who bullied and excited him throughout his high school, and how many characteristics they have to be similar to his father. It makes him nervous about how incredibly similar to these two patterns his partners are and probably will be forever, no matter how ridiculous or pathetic Sasuke finds it. 


	7. Chapter 7

"What do you think is the goal of this therapy?"

Sasuke doesn't have to think to answer, "I feel like I'm missing something. It may just be that spoiled feeling of being the only child from a wealthy family, as you have already indicated, but that feeling is no less distracting. ”

The therapist almost rolls her eyes, but restrains herself from it. Sasuke notices that the eyeliner on her left eye was blurring slightly. He wonders if he should alert her or if it would be inappropriate. "The feeling of emptiness is not something that depends on the material component of your life, you know that best yourself."

"No, I thought rather… it was obvious that I had been… lonely all my childhood. But I don't have the problem now, I found a few friends, I run a relatively large company, I know how to relax. And yet I feel that I am missing something. And please don't tell me it's a relationship, I hear enough of that at home.”

"I'm not… ehm," the therapist purses her lips and puts down her pen. "I'm not here to prescribe or force any clichés or habits or stereotypes on you. I'm here to help you better understand yourself, maybe sketch out other perspectives so you can choose what suits you best. I am not and should not be your authority, Mr. Uchiha."

Sasuke spreads his arms on the aesthetically unsuitable armchair and nods. "I apologize. Frustration."

"Don't apologize for any emotion you feel here. Let's try to look at your loneliness. You say you have friends. You have also…. come in therms with your relationship with your parents. What interests me is, where you find your friends?”

"Well, mostly at work."

"So your subordinates," she calls him out, as Sasuke blushes a little.

"Yes, most of them are babes from invoicing, secretary, balance or call centre departments. I have… a few acquaintances who are, for example, the children of my father's colleagues and partners.”

“Where do you think you might find new friends? Do you have a social hobby?”

"Like I said," the CEO clears his throat. "I spend most of my time at work. There is not much space for… hobbies outside of it.”

"Do you enjoy your work when you're already in it so often?"

"Yes, of course," Sasuke nods seriously. "I probably wouldn't be able to do something I don't enjoy."

"What exactly do you enjoy about that job?" the therapist digs in. Sasuke begins to understand where she's going.

He licks his lips and decides not to answer. Who else is interested in the huge clock on the wall? They only act as decorations, they are not functional. Maybe it has something to do with therapeutic abilities, or it's just a clear supplement.

"Mr. Uchiha," the therapist addresses him after a few minutes. "You are lost in thought. What are you thinking about right now? ”

“... time. Honestly. How much do I spend at work. And what does that mean to me.”

"Do you have a conclusion, or are you just thinking about it?” He is encouraged by the woman.

"I do not know. It just never occurred to me that I had no hobby. As you know, I'm not good at sports, which narrows my options a lot. I'm absorbed in work and I don't think I miss the fun or the opportunity to unwind."

That interests the therapist. “What do you think is relaxation? Specifically? What did you do to unwind from work this week?”

“Probably… hm. I was at a beauty salon with the girls, we were at the bar, we drank, we talked, we slandered.”

"Did you talk about your job?"

"...Yes."

"Then it's not unwinding," the therapist said. "Try again. What did you do this week without evoking your job? ”

"... had sex," Sasuke replied indifferently, looking the therapist in the eye as if he expected her to react in any visible emotion.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks professionally, looking in Sasuke's face.

"He caught my eye, it wasn't… anything special that much. I seduced him at the bar, invited him home, and he left in a few hours,” Sasuke shrugs.

"Are you sorry?"

"No, not in any way. It wasn't that great anyway. And I was… was missing something.”

"Is that why you chose therapy?"

"No, not… exactly. There were more reasons for that, but it's definitely not sex. It was more of a memory. I stayed up in the apartment for quite a long time - you see, most of the time I just sleep there. When I'm not at work, I talk about it, and when I'm not talking about it, I definitely think about it.”

She writes something in her notes, and scratches something else. 

“You have… you say that you have friends you meet and you understand, you can go to a beauty salon or a bar. Do you have a close friend? Someone who would know your secret, someone you really trust?”

“With what I've experienced in my life and with how busy I've been since the academy I attended? No, I don't, of course not. I don't trust anyone in my work, it wouldn't pay off,” says the young man, adjusting his jacket. It's getting hot in here.

"So there is no one close to who really knows you. Who’d really knew who you are, who you  _ really  _ are like. Under all the guise of professionalism and carefully selected style. Or is it?”

Sasuke thinks about all his friends, people who have been around for a long time in his life, or, on the other hand, people he has met recently. People at work know him as the boss, the children of his father's friends know him as a weak and weird boy they never included in their games, but he made it the farthest of the children of the rich he knows. All those young bastards have become addicted to drugs, or are still rolling at campuses endlessly trying to for years to pass the state's final exam in any department there is, or their companies they started with the financial help of their parents have gone bankrupt. Sasuke made it the furthest out of the circle of the “rich kids”, but this again set him apart from his generation. 

"No, probably not."

The therapist is silent, as if she proved something Sasuke refuses to admit through his ego, but he knows that the desperately inelegant person is right. "Could it be the emptiness you feel?"

Sasuke tilts his head to the side and remembers his childhood and adolescence. He never had a  _ loved one _ . He never really befriended anyone. All his lovers were for a maximum of a few nights. Was he sorry that there was no constant person, friend, in his life? Sakura, the head of the invoicing department, knows him best, and she also knows him for basically only a half a year.

"It doesn't have to be a love affair, meaning a partnership, to settle down, to think about children, for example - no, it's more about having a good friend, a friend with whom you can talk openly. Maybe you are missing a companion.”

"I probably don't have a complete idea of what that means. I'm not even sure how you can find friends in your late twenties, I've never tried,” admits the young CEO. "I always knew the children my age wouldn't invite me to spend time with them, so I never even tried to fit in. Now that I'm an adult and I'm moving on - I don't feel so threatened or left out anymore, yet it's probably not easy for me to start talking to people.”

"That is understandable. Maybe you should focus on something that will help you find these friends. Ideally out of work. Find a companion through a hobby. It can be culture or maybe your style, you certainly know fashion and know where to go for it. Find friends outside the scope of your work, outside the scope of your position. Find an ordinary friend who will not remind you daily of your work or your responsibilities. It would be the best option, but if you try to get closer to your colleagues, it is also not a bad alternative, " says the therapist.

Sasuke ruffles his dark hair and purses his lips. It never occurred to him that he might be missing a friend, a companion, a man with whom he could share more than a superficial friendship based on slandering everyone at work.

"Maybe it's not a bad idea."


	8. Chapter 8

With his therapist's words in mind, he is as distracted as he was last week. It is a strange realization - that he should or  _ could  _ have friends. Depressing. Perhaps worse than missing a partner, that he should start a family - he never thought of the simplicity of finding himself a  _ friend _ .

It seems so  _ trivial _ , now. 

He has a very battered emotional and social upbringing, mind him. Now, years later, his father simply won't change it - or fix it, as he hopes -, whether he chooses a personal or professional level. Now one compliment won't fix it, though it means a lot to Sasuke.

And his mother…? Oh,  _ please _ . 

"Send in another one," he says brokenly as Karin brings him coffee to the office.

It’s been nearly two weeks and he still doesn't have an assistant. 

"For god’s sake, choose already and hire one," Karin orders coldly. "I'm not paid to be your maid."

"Everyone in this company is paid to be my maid," the young CEO corrects her without any trace of joking.

Karin purses her lips and leaves the office without saying another word to Sasuke - he's right, Sasuke snaps his fingers and she’s fired - literally. She doesn't even close the door when she angrily slams into the hall, "Next."

Sasuke doesn't even bother to lift his head from the coffee when he greets and points to the chair opposite him. He doesn't look up until he recognizes, distingly, the voice of the newcomer.

"Um, good… good morning, sir. I'm, uh, my, uh, I'm… ”

Sasuke raises his head so fast that he almost jams his cervical spine. Is that... ?!

"Eh, I'm sorry, I'm nervous, sir, normally - I don't usually forget my name. Excuse me, please excuse me, I'll try again. My name is Naruto Namikaze, I'm twenty-nine years old and I've lived all my life in this city.” 

Sasuke looks at the young man, studies him from head to toe. Bleached blond hair a bit longer than necessary, shaved clean, the suit jacket is not his, and his shirt is a little crumpled. He must be wearing skinny jeans, he doesn't have a watch, but an interesting necklace dangles around his neck. He’s got turquoise eyes and a very well-trained body under his clothes. He is more than a decade older now, but no less attractive - quite the opposite. Sasuke's heart pounded and chills runs down his neck. No doubt, it's really him. Naruto M. Namikaze, his nightmare and at the same time the saving angel he moaned over while jerking off for years and years. Although it happened so long ago, he still clings to the memories he has of the kid from the time they were meeting in the ugly corridors of their school’s buildings.

"Something… is something wrong, sir?" the young man asks cautiously, yet very politely. Obviously, Sasuke is lost in thought, and his mildly painful or dreamy expression doesn't make it difficult to recognize that he is absent in spirit, and that it has something to do with what Naruto M. Namikaze said or did.

It's him, the CEO has confirmed several times in his mind already. No doubt, it's  _ him _ . And above that, he doesn't seem to recognize Sasuke at all, he probably doesn't even  _ remember his name _ , he doesn't remember his face nor the hell and the paradise he made him feel at a time when they were both too young to drink alcohol or to know the concept of gender or sexuality.

"No, no," he waves, holding a pen in two fingers and bowing his head so that Naruto M. Namikaze can't look him in the face. "Everything’s alright, please continue."

"Okay, I - um, I studied high at Weston College, I then received stipendium at university, I was a football admittee. But… I didn't finish my studies due to personal reasons, so… ultimately, I, uh, um, then I had to take jobs in a few inferior positions- ”

"And what qualifies you for this position?" Sasuke asks casually.

It's beginning to draw, the whole point, he thinks, and turns the page in Naruto M. Namikaze's resume.

"It's, um, I don't think this position requires any special qualifications, sir," Naruto M. Namikaze said uncertainly.

Sasuke tilts his head to the side and smiles. No, not really. Just be Naruto M. Namikaze, Sasuke thinks with a smirk. He gets up and shakes his hand, "You'll get the statement in a week, mister..."

"Namikaze, sir," his future employee reminds him softly. "It was a pleasure to meet you, sir. Thank you for this opportunity."

Sasuke leans back in his chair and joins the tips of his fingers of both hands together, a gesture his father does after a particularly good deal. He stares for a few more minutes at the door that Naruto M. Namikaze just closed behind himself, after which he inadvertently recalls that scene more than ten years ago; the boy, who was holding him under his neck with all his might, was wearing a football jersey, and Sasuke even now remembered the smell of his body, the dirt and grass, the deodorant, the rubber soles of his football boots, maybe some blood rubbing on his knees, on his elbow, on his knuckles.

He's not even ashamed when he opens his pants right here in his office, with his back to the crowded Third street, with a closed but unlocked door. He can't help his own excitement when he starts jerking off to the thought of Naruto M. Namikaze then, when he was holding physical power over him, and now, when he could hold psychological power over Naruto M. Namikaze. His orgasm hits him as hard as his semen hits the underside of his desk. 

Sasuke never thought he could ever violate work ethic like this, yet alone with anyone being able to enter his office with as much as a light knock, like for example Kakashi, a member of the company’s board of directors, tends to do. But Sasuke was lucky this time and when someone enters his office today, it’s more than half an hour after he’s finished with his little hazardous break. And it’s Karin, asking if he's ready to see another aspirant. 

“No, Karin, thank you. I’ve already chosen my right hand, you can send the rest of them home,” he smiles at her politely. 

“The handsome young man?” Karin guesses. 

“The smart, educated and well dressed man who knows what he’s talking about,” He corrects her, but essentially agrees with her. 

She, despite being herself, giggles: “I’m glad to finally have some eye candy around here.” 

Eye candy, hn, Sasuke smiles timidly for himself. That he certainly could be. 

Sasuke was fighting his urge to call Naruto M. Namikaze immediately, tonight, today,  _ now  _ \- right now. Just to hear his reaction that he got this job, just to make sure he won't get a different job elsewhere, that noone will steal him away. Because Naruto M. Namikaze belongs to  _ Uchiha Sasuke _ , and noone else. 

He’s so thrilled he wants to call him immediately, ask him to come tomorrow and to start his new job. He can't wait to see him everyday - for what, he doesn't know. Sasuke is so happy even the girls he takes Wednesday’s night through a bar stroll recognize something is off. 

“What kind of a daddy fucked you into this kind of bliss?” Sakura asks him, when Sasuke invites all of their group for a third round of shots. 

“Excuse you,” he gives her a playful pat, while the other girls laugh. “I am celebrating! Finally found an assistant!” 

“I thought this has something to do with your father’s praise,” Sakura digs in and Sasuke can't help but roll his eyes. 

“What kind of a psycho you think I am - that I get praised by  _ Uchiha Almighty  _ and I come running to the closest Daddy and beg him to fuck me, or what?” he pretends to sound offended, but honestly, it does kind of seem appealing to him. 

It’s kinda sad it didn't occur to him earlier, this night could have been much funnier.

“Okay, sorry, sorry, asshole,” Sakura laughs at him and invites him for a private drink at the bar. All the other girls go dancing, and one of them is already getting some handy attention from one of the smart dressed managers. “So, who is your assistant?” 

“Eyecandy. Kinda smart,” Sasuke draws and gestures for the barman. 

“How old is he?” 

“Around my age, really.” 

“What?!” Sakura gasps for breath mincingly and Sasuke grins at her. 

“What can I say? He caught my attention,” Sasuke explains, but Sakura exasperatedly shakes her head. 

“No, no, my dear, what the fuck? What happened to your everlasting daddy kink?!” 

“Oh c’mon, Sakura!” Sasuke laughs, exasperated. “How do you think it would look to my father, when my assistant would be his age and constantly devouring me with his eyes in our meetings?! How would that look.” 

Sakura longs her face and drowns her drink on one go. Sasuke follows her. 

“Okay, maybe you’re right. Yeah, that would look a bit weird.” 

“I know. I’d love to hire a daddy and let him fuck me on Fugaku’s table, but I have to remain professional. I don't want to be scratched from his will. He finally accepted I’m good at this job and I might one day take over the entire company, but that doesn't mean I won this war yet. My father is disappointed in me and one success isn’t going to change it.” 

“Does he know you are gay?”

“I think he’s a bigot, not stupid,” Sasuke rolls his eyes, but honestly, he doesn't know for sure. “I never came out to him, and he never asked. Well, we… don't really talk, anyway.” 

“At least he’s trying to stay in your life, Sasu,” Sakura points out. “My father left when I was sixteen so he wouldn't have to pay for my college.” 

“Asshole,” Sasuke murmurs. 

“Yeah, well, that’s life, my lovely powerbottom,” Sakura giggles and Sasuke playfully swats her arm. 

He has the opportunity to bring home another man of his usual daddy types, but he refuses. He has his dance, few drinks, one or two inappropriate touches, and a kiss. He doesn't really want more - he knows he'll be disappointed. His mind is somewhere else, and to put it lightly, his… tastes have changed, too. He’s not interested in purring daddies over what a good boy he is and how well he can blow them, not today. 

And probably won't be, for a while now. 


	9. Chapter 9

Maybe that’s why he is so excited for his next session with the therapist. She has no style, but she brought quite a few interesting points of view into his life. 

“You look… pleased,” she greets him in her office. 

“Interesting, people usually tell me these days I look happy,” Sasuke grins at her. 

“No, a happy person… would look less vicious,” she observes. “You look… pleased, as if something unexpected, but exactly how you wanted it, happened. Mind telling me what it was?” 

“Good deed, my father came to praise me, and I finally, after half a year, found an assistant,” Sasuke decides not to lie - but not to tell her what exactly happened. For… reasons. 

“Out of those three things, which one is… the most important to you?” 

The assistant, of course. 

“To… everyone I said it’s the deed, you know, but I think you can guess my father’s approval…” 

“Means more to you,” she finishes for him. “I thought so. Does that change anything in your relationship? Did he try to reach to you? Or you to him?” 

_ No _ . 

“Yes, I think. It seems… he trusts my instincts, bussiness related I mean. It… does feel good to get this kind of reward after half a year of silence,” Sasuke smiles at the woman in pure glee, and she can tell he’s high on endorphins. 

“When… will you see each other again?” 

“This sunday, I was… asked to come for lunch.” 

It’s a standardized lunch, they have it every two weeks. Family lunch every other sunday when Father tries not to talk about work, and Mother tries to stay sober. Truly beautiful days. 

“Is it a new thing?” 

_ No _ . 

“Yes. My father wasn't… he prefers to stay out of my way and I prefer to stay out of his. We understand we have no common ground, and therefore we are better to interact only when it comes to work, investment and money. I don't… interfere within the plans and future with the company yet, that is up to my father to decide.” 

“Maybe you can use this family lunch to tell your father how you feel about him,” she suggested. 

“There is not much I can tell. That I’m sorry he thinks I’m a failure? Well, he probably knows that. That I’m sorry he ignored me all my childhood? He did it on purpose. And that I’m sorry he thinks I’m a family disappointment because I’m gay? Well… I said it already once this week, and I say it again here again; I think he’s a bigot, not stupid.” 

“Does… that mean your father doesn't know you are gay?” 

“I never came out to him. And I’m not planning to.” 

“And… and when you find a boyfriend, or a partner? You won't… introduce him to your parents?” 

_ I’d say I’m not the kind of a person to look for a relationship any time soon. At least… not like that.  _

“Maybe to my mother,” Sasuke agrees after a while. “Maybe.” 

“Why only maybe? You don't trust your mother?” 

“I… more of... don’t trust… her ability to stay sober. You can probably imagine; a stay-home lady from upper class. She… has her hobbies, and all of them start with opening a bottle.” 

“Just because she drinks doesn't mean she’s an alcoholic.” 

“We…” Sasuke decides to share a story. “...were having a birthday party. My birthday party, in our summer residence by the beach. I don't know if I was six or nine, but all of the kids from school and some kids I’ve never seen but they had important parents, were there - some of them with their parents, too. My father was… the host, you know, since most of the children’s parents were important somehow-” 

“He used, I’m sorry to interrupt, but he used your birthday parties for connections?” 

“Yes, and meeting. You thought my birthday party was… for me? No! Of course not,” Sasuke laughs. “I think that was the birthday both of my parents forgot to order a cake, if I… remember correctly. Maybe it was different birthdays, I can't be trusted with these, there were too many to remember.” 

His therapist looks shocked now, and Sasuke finds it weirdly endearing. 

“My birthday parties were… a business meeting, and a gala, or how to put it. It was used for important people to have an innocent opportunity to meet other important people, because everyone went to my birthday party for any other purpose, but to wish me a happy birthday. All the kids invited there were with important parents. Don't get me wrong, I got plenty of gifts - but none of the children knew me or liked me or played with me. So this all went to shit when, I was born in july, you see, so usually these “birthday parties” were set for outside. But that year it was storming and raining on Saturday of my birthday, so we spent the “party” in the small saloon, while the adults were in the big one. It was still afternoon, it definitely wasn't even an evening time, when… it was really awkward, you see. Kids in the early 90’s couldn't play on their phones because they didn't have any, and therefore they all kinda got friendly and talked, while I was in the corner watching them… interact and get friendly and make friends, so I could maybe try their technique too next time. It was mostly silent in the room, when my mother entered, obviously drunk, she was stumbling and her dress was… I don't know, it looked like she fell somewhere. Then she spotted me, yelled at me for not having friends and being a weird child, and she insisted I immediately talk to people and thank them all for a beautiful birthday party, and she came closer to us - the kids were already laughing, you see, and then my mother puked all over herself, fainted and fell into the puke. 

You can imagine how that made me feel,” Sasuke makes a grimace. 

He can still feel the disgusting scent of the puke, how his mother yelled at him, how the children laughed. The previous year at school was terrible, but the one after this birthday party was even worse. 

“I’m sorry you had to witness your mother like this,” and the therapist seems genuinely shocked by this revelation. 

What did she expect, love and care? 

“I called for my nanny who took her away, so the adults never found out what happened and didn't see her in that state, and if their children told them what they’ve seen, they didn't seem to take it seriously, because I remember my father telling my mother the birthday party was a great success for he finally made it into the mayor’s office.” 

“So your father doesn't know about your mother’s drinking problem?” 

_ I think he just doesn't care.  _

“He does. He’s… trying to help her, and lately it’s better.” 

_ I have no idea. I don't care, either.  _

“Do you… do you have a moment in your head where you could tell you were a family?” 

“No,” Sasuke answers immediately. 

She looks mostly sad now. “What was… the last time you felt like you belonged?” 

“Like I belong,” Sasuke repeats slowly and his look seems glassy. “Like I… belong.” 

He repeats it once again, and tries to genuinely remember if he ever felt secure. Definitely not in his past, that’s for sure. “Now, I think. Now, in my position of a CEO. Sometimes during sex, when it’s really good and I’m really into it and my partner… reaches my limits, you see. And… honesty… now. With you, talking about things I’ve never… had the courage to come to terms with. My childhood traumas, my… my issues and all, you see.” 

“Your security doesn't come from childhood, at all?” 

“My father wanted me to be the perfect miniversion of himself, while my mother was sold like an ancient vase to the highest bidder. I’m not sure this has anything to do with a feeling of belonging.” 

“How does that make you feel?” 

_ Like I wasn't born to have feelings. _

“I wasn't born to be loved,” Sasuke replies after a short pause. “I’m here to lead a company, not to live happily ever after.” 

“You don't want to settle down? To have a family on your own? I’m not saying now - I mean… in a decade, or two.” 

_ No _ .

“Maybe, I’m not… I’m not thinking that far beforehand, I think. But… Maybe.” 

The therapist writes something down and looks at peace, but there is something in her eyes that tells Sasuke she’s… put off. 

“For now, I have the company to deal with, and probably… come to find peace with my childhood and the traumas I carry. I don't want to carry them through my entire life, that… the sessions with you showed me that.” 

“Do you think talking… about what happened helps you?” 

“Yes, actually,” Sasuke smiles a bit. “I didn't expect it to… when my friend suggested I should try therapy, I laughed in her face, but now… I think I owe her an apology.” 

“Why or how does it help you?” 

“Mostly… I realize that all of the things I took for granted, was… how it was. You see, like all that happened to me was just… normal? In a way? I wasn't to question it, I didn't… really have parents to ask them questions, and I didn't have friends to compare my childhood with. Now… I’m starting to see my father’s and my mother’s behaviour, and the bullies’, too, wasn't… in any way…  _ acceptable _ . Or a norm. It wasn't the type of a situation you say ůit is what it is, and there’s no way it will ever be different”. That I… didn't deserve it for anything I’ve done. It was… It wasn't supposed to happen to me, it wasn't normal. It’s not something you have to go through because that is a social or a psychological norm, there were other ways. It shouldn't have happened. But it did, and it wasn't my fault. This therapy also helps me to put into perspective how… and why… I am the way I am. Does that make sense?” 

“Yes,” she smiles at him, her mascara a bit overdone today. “Yes, it does make sense, and I think this therapy is good for you. If you want, we can have weekly meetings now. I see these therapies really do help you deal with yourself and your own way of self-awareness.”

“I’m not saying everything will be peachy after the therapy comes to an end. I just think… some aspects of my life will… be easier.” 

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

Friday morning he loses all patience. He’s not even properly awake yet, strolling from the balcony back to the kitchen, still naked, when he takes his phone and calls the number he knows from memory, from looking at it too often. 

“Good morning, Uchiha Sasuke from Uchiha Corp. Inc., may I speak to Namikaze Naruto?” 

“Yes, by the phone - uh, good morning, Mr. Uchiha.” 

“Mr Namikaze, I’ve got good news for you - I have the contract for the position of my assistant for you ready in my office. Do you want to sign it?” 

“Oh my fu-uh, dear gods,  _ yes _ !” he can hear how surprised and happy Naruto M. Namikaze is. “I- wow, thank you, Mr. Uchiha! I’m - can I stop by today?” 

“It would be my pleasure. Around eleven sounds good?” 

“Yes! Yes, I’ll - in your office, or a HR department?” 

“You’ll… be signing with me directly, I’ll happily introduce you to your colleagues and show you where you're gonna work. We’ll also go through your daily work, would that be okay?” 

“Yes of course, sir! I’m… I’m excited to work for you!” 

“Thank you, I’m excited, too. By eleven, my office. See you then.” 

Sasuke can feel the chills down his spine, he can feel his mood changing, his life taking an interesting turn he wasn't expecting, but he’s happy he’s exactly here, at this point, making the decisions he is. 

He’s sure to wear pink today, just to give the young Naruto M. Namikaze the right impression. Sasuke wants him to know he’s gay, and wants to see his reaction to exactly that. He wears black lingerie, pretty black socks with visible lace, light pants, amaranth pink shirt and thulian waistcoat. He looks five years younger suddenly, and also like he's on a hunt. 

And frankly, maybe he is. 

He’s pacing at ten, half past ten he’s literally nervous. He has the contract ready, the place he’s gonna sit at and do his job - the only thing he doesn't know is what he should do, personally. Should he tell him they know each other? Should he… what would… what should he do?!

Just like everything in his life, he has to think this through. He wants Naruto M. Namikaze to like him, to think he’s an amazing boss. He shouldn't do anything that would alert the man. He has to look innocent, nice, the _ good guy _ . He also needs to look like he can't hurt a fly. That way, anything Sasuke decides to do in the future, he’ll have a good starting position. 

“Mr. Uchiha?” Karin knocks on the door a few minutes before eleven. “Mr. Namikaze’s here to see you.” 

“Sure, send him in,” Sasuke gestures, looking straight into his papers. He’s pretending he’s busy just to appear magnificent in his work. Then he realizes he doesn't want to look like a boss, like someone to respect - he isn't Fugaku Uchiha, after all. 

“Sir? Hello, sir, I’m… I’m so thrilled I don't even know what to say,” Naruto M. Namikaze smiles politely at his soon to be boss. 

“Hello, Mr. Namikaze, please, come in and take a seat. I’m happy you made the time for me, I’d really like for you to start by monday, if possible.” 

“Yes, that would be amazing - I still… I still can't believe you chose me of all people.” 

“Lets say you met my standards, and you seem excited to work here,” Sasuke says, as he offers a timid smile. “Take a minute to read through the contract, and ask right away, if you need anything.” 

“Thank you, sir.” 

Sasuke is feeling slightly dizzy. He’s looking the man up and down. He’s wearing tight black jeans and ordinary white shirt, no suit and no westcoat, but Sasuke will let this slide. 

“I… uh, I’m sorry, sir, is there… is there a dress code here?” he suddenly asks. 

“In my office? No, not necessarily. I myself am not fond of suits, but there will be meetings that require smart clothing, yes. I however allow you to keep a suit jacket here for those meetings. Sounds okay?” 

“Yes, sir. I mean - I can… I can buy a suit, if it's-” 

“If,” Sasuke interrupts him with a boyish smile, “there is a need for a suit, you’ll get one from the company. It’s how it works here.” 

“Oh, I… I didn't know that,” Naruto mumbles sheepishly and reads on his contract. When he gets to the last page and sees his monthly salary, Sasuke can see how his eyes widened. “The - that is my salary?”

“Yes,” Sasuke agrees, a bit alarmed. He didn't know how much to offer him, so he imagined how much he’d want if this would be his job. Now, looking at it, he should have asked the HR team. But, after all, maybe more money means longer fun. “Everything alright?” 

“My-my  _ monthly  _ salary?” 

“Yes,” it’s not that much, Sasuke wonders. He wouldn't be able to live comfortably out of it, so it can't be that much. “Well, this job won't be easy, and won't be as anything you’ve ever experienced, I think.” 

“Well, for this, I’ll help you cover up a murder, sir, I’m definitely your person,” Naruto shortly laughs and Sasuke can't help but smirk - he’s quick to hide it, though. 

“Even if I have a few business enemies, I hope this won't be necessary,” Sasuke says instead of smirking. “If you agree, please sign in, and I’ll show you everything you’ll need to know.” 

“Alright, there. Can I have one copy?” 

“Of course, one for you, one for us, and one is, as we say, for the devil. And your health insurance of course. Now, over here, this is your desk. Laptop and phone are for your personal usage, too. Everyday you’ll take a look in my calendar, look at what meetings I have and when I have them and with whom and what I need there. At first I expect you to accompany me everywhere I go, make notes, carry things, do what I say without asking. I might sometimes ask to bring me coffee or lunch. Is that okay?” 

“Yes, sure, sir.” 

“Sometimes I’ll call you in your free time, sometimes you’ll need to travel with me - if you do, everything will be paid for. You have paid sick days and vacation time, but I have the right to tell you no, or choose the term of your vacation - if you tell me right away and beforehand, there will be no problem with it. What I need from this position is you to always be aware of what is happening, you’ll be reading my work emails and you’ll be reporting statistics. Sometimes you’ll be writing important emails to my partners, and you’ll be telling me only about important things I need to take care of.” 

“How… would I know what is important, sir?” 

“Don't worry, you’ll learn everything with time, I’m aware you can't learn everything in two days.” 

“Thank you, sir, I’ll try my best.” 

“We’ll see about that,” Sasuke smirks to himself and opens the door to the hall, where the secretaries and some managers are, talk, pretend they work, run, chat, talk on the phones, flirt. “See, this is the head management of this company. Hello, guys, can you please pay attention to me? Thank you, this is Naruto Namikaze - he’s my new assistant, please be nice to him and try to help him as much, because if I’m unpleasant, I’ll be mostly unpleasant at him now. Also, Naruto, anytime you need anything, don't hesitate to ask my head manager, Gaara here, my beloved head of HR, Ino, and the head secretary, Karin, those are the people who are here the most often. Also you’ll meet my representative next week, he’s out of town for bussiness - he’s the head of abroad franchises, and does my job when I’m doing his. Thank you guys, go back to your jobs now, I’m taking Naruto here for lunch.” 

Sasuke urges Naruto, who waves into the open offices, halls and open doors offices, into the elevator. 

“Uh, I… uh, I think I’m really gonna like it here. Everyone seems nice,” the poor guy tries for a small talk. 

“I’m sure you’ll find friends here, most of the people on my floor are our age I think.” The elevator is made from glass and runs right through the middle of the entire building. They can see in one ride nearly everything there is. “Ah there’s a cafetiere, I definitely approve of their salads, amazing. Over there is the balance and invoicing department, I’ll often send you there for papers or so. Over there, behind the banner - there is an advertising department, and HR on the other side. And wait a while, two floors down there is the research dept, you won't go there often at all, those guys… live in their own world I think.” 

Naruto giggles and Sasuke realizes he’s actually enjoying this. He will… enjoy this. Whatever happened, he’s actually… having  _ fun _ . This entire situation takes the wind of his sails - he was expecting a lot of things, he expected hate and disgust, he expected anticipation and arousal… but it’s mostly… mostly thrill. And excitement. 

“Next few floors are subsidiaries, we started to work on publishing, too, so there is a whole new department devoted to that. We have our own bloggers and people who set things on social media for our company. And then, one more floor down… there’s the IT. Those… are weird. I only call them up to meet me when something goes wrong, like last thursday, the entire building went black because one of the newbies wanted to play LOL in his work time and accidentally powered off the building... Ah, big company, what can I say.” 

Naruto actually giggles and Sasuke finds himself… smiling.

They finally leave the lift. 

“There’s our building’s restaurant, and our last stop. I told you about your future workplace and what I expect of you. Have a seat. What… do you, on the other hand, expect from me?” 

Naruto does sit down on the terrace - everything here looks so posh - and just like his boss, he picks up the menu. He nearly chokes on thin air - the prices for a single menu are nearly a half of his last week's pay. But with his future pay he’ll be able to afford this, probably. 

“Please, be my guest - don't look at the prices, order what you like.” 

“You are… way too generous, sir,” Naruto smiles happily, looking into the menu properly. “I… uh, I’m not that good in french, I think?” 

“I mostly prefer chinese food, too. When you don't know what the titles means, you can just point at the picture.” 

Naruto laughs, but immediately throws his palm over his mouth. “I’m sorry, sir, that was inappropriate.” 

“Nearly as inappropriate as my joke - I apologize,” Sasuke withdraws, but he can't help it - he feels incredibly drawn to this young man. He’s… he’s so different from the confident boy he knew in highschool. There’s so many things that probably happened to him that changed him like this. He feels like he wants to… wants to keep him entertained, wants to be personal with him. He just doesn't know… what that means quite yet. 

“Let’s… let’s make a deal, sir, alright? You… don't stop yourself from making inappropriate jokes, and I won't stop laughing at them, alright?” 

“Alright,” Sasuke can't help but just… give in. He’s so handsome, so charismatic, and so… so nice, so polite. He’s so far from the boy who hurt him beyond understanding all his highschool career. “Deal.” 

Naruto offers a grin, and looks back into the menu. 

“While… we are making deals, I don't.. want you to call me sir. Would it… would you agree to first names?” 

“Well of… of course, is that… is that appropriate?” 

“If you never forget you are my assistant and I am your boss? Of course it is,” Sasuke explains and outstretches his hand for Naruto to shake. “Sasuke.” 

“Naruto, happy to accept, by the way. I… I never worked in a company like this, I was… I saw this job offer in the news and I thought, okay, lets try, but… personal assistants are usually pretty girls, so I didn't expect… at all you’d choose me.” 

“I need a trustworthy person who works… for me. Not for the company, but for me, if you understand.” 

“I see.” 

The waiter fills their glasses with water and tells them today’s specials. Naruto ends up choosing what Sasuke orders. And there it is - the feeling he was waiting for, the spark he knew will come. He watches Naruto follow his lead, he watches the dominant person take after the submissive, he watches the predator withdrawing from a certain prey. It’s like reversing nature's orders, like seeing water burn. Sasuke realizes he’s half hard in his pants. 

“Why,” Sasuke clears his throat. “Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself, then?” 

“I… There isn't much to say, sir- Sasuke,” he corrects himself. “I was accepted to local college, but had to drop out after a year. My… my mum got sick and I had to find a job to pay the bills, you see.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Can I ask about.. what illness it is?” 

“Cancer, second stage. She did beat it once, but it came back, so… there's more therapies and… more money of course.” 

“I’m… I’m sorry to hear that, Naruto.” 

_ I’m not.  _

“It’s… she was so happy, when… when I moved back in with her and helped her. She’s still working, but the bills aren't… ah, you know how it is.” 

_ I actually don't.  _

“Of course. I wish I could help -” 

“You-you already did, si-Sasuke, this job pays… way more than any I ever had, so… it actually will be a lot easier!” his smile shines through just like his personality. 

“What does you mum do?” Sasuke asks. 

“She’s working for a local publisher as an accountant. She’s… been working for him for the past twenty years.” 

“Well, maybe I could be helpful and offer her a job here. I’ll make sure she takes only part time, and I'll be sure to balance the pay,” Sasuke offers - and thrives for this feeling he can see in Naruto's face. 

Gratitude. A wolf is grateful to a sheep for saving his life. 

“You-you are too kind, s-Sasuke, but I can't just bother you to-!” 

“That’s a detail I can arrange, Naruto, it will be my pleasure. Anyway, where would we be without our mothers? Tell her to quit her job and bring her here, I’m sure my HR can do me a favour,” and he’s absolutely serious. “Besides, you’ll have your mother in this building. If she needs you, you’ll be close to help.” 

“I - I, sir, Sasuke, I don't know what to say, I…” 

“There’s no need to thank me,” Sasuke assures him. “It’s a small favour. I’m sure we’ll be a good duo, for some reason.” 

“I - thank you, I… thank you. Your heart is surely made of gold, Sasuke.” 

_ I sincerely doubt that.  _

The look in Naruto’s eyes, the sincerity, the grateful happiness - this, this feeling of… of dominance this sets in Sasuke’s guts. That felt dangerously good. It felt dizzy to the point his head is spinning, and he wants to see more of this, he wants to see… he wants to see this look in his face. He wants Naruto to be grateful to his boss. 

He suddenly remembers his initial plan to appear as submissive as possible, to appear as if he couldn't hurt a fly. And maybe this, offering help to his mother, is as unsuspicious as any submissive behaviour Sasuke could (and will) pull out. 

He’s not sure what his plan will be, but he’s sure it’s gonna be big. For now, he has to excuse himself from the table and leave for the bathroom to jerk himself off quickly. He comes with Naruto’s happy, surprised and grateful face in his mind. 


	11. Chapter 11

“We were talking about… what was the last time you felt like you belonged, and you answered, now, in the present time. What was, on the contrary, the moment in your life you felt like you can't ever fit in?” 

“School, for sure,” Sasuke licks his lips, like he’s trying to look so over it now. But he isn't, not really. “Middle school was already terrible. But highschool was… the worst time for me for sure.” 

“Why was that? And why did it get worse?” 

“Because I wasn't raised in a loving family and because I’m an only child, and because I come from a wealthy family. Because I was always small and always… lived in my own world to ever make friends. I was passing unnoticed when I was a child, and I was fine with it. But kids are mean. I didn't know how to become popular, or at least how to find a friend. So I suffered.” 

“Was there no place for you to find friends outside of school?” 

“You mean hobbies? My father paid for piano lessons. I also had private teachers for French, Spanish and English. None… of those things helped me master my social skills,” Sasuke shrugs. 

“Do you blame your parents for this?” 

“I don't think they meant any harm by it. It’s the same education, I believe, my mother had received. My father wanted me smart in math and good at sports, but I proved myself too too weak and too untalented. Eventually, in highschool, I started swimming, but I had to give that up because of said bullying.” 

“So far you told me about this only in… general, aside of the one incident, that you were bullied. Was it… consistent? Were you the target of unpleasant attention?” 

“I was more than a target, madam,” Sasuke offers a half smile. “I was… you see, the Academy was… how to put it… basically hell. In my first year I was already understanding I’m not like other kids, by far from it. I also started to understand my home situation isn't normal, either. I sometimes saw kids with their parents, and they… I mean, they  _ talked  _ to each other. The parents…  _ cared _ , asked questions, wanted to know how their child is. I was… I rarely saw my father, and I was glad for it, and my mother was usually gone or passed out due to alcohol, or too depressed and drugged to function. When I was around that age, fourteen or fifteen, my father told me I’m too old to have a nanny, so there went the last bits of human interactions I could have till graduation.” 

“That’s… I’m glad you know this… this wasn't okay. Even if you were in that age, being ignored by parents wasn't right. And I’m glad you understand it now.” 

“I was mostly happy, to be honest. My father always had that disappointed look on his face, and my mother couldn't look me in the eye without either being embarrassed, or just… disappointed what she did for money, I’m not sure.” 

“Do you think your mother doesn't love you?” 

_ Of course she doesn't. She doesn't even love herself.  _

“Oh I know she does. She just… has issues with herself, and why did she marry - or whom, and on what circumstances.” 

“Do you think that excuses her?” 

_ No _ .

“Yes, I think. I can understand this point of view. But, in all the kids' eyes, I had everything, right? I was rich, my parents didn't care what I did or when I get home. That’s… how they saw it. They hated me for the freedom I had at life at first, and then it was just… a bunch of coincidences. I was who I was, and I behaved like… I did. I wasn't friendly, I was a coward, I wasn't talented in sports and I couldn't talk to people without stuttering and being awkward. I wasn't even that smart - at University, that was different, I chose what I’m good at and I focused on it - but in highschool, where you have to be perfect in everything, or solemnly in sports? I failed that, horribly. And kids love to have a target, like you said, to discharge their frustration at. 

I was perfect for it. 

Not only were there always reasons to make fun of me, I also had noone who would help me. My parents didn't care, they didn't even go to the parent-teacher conferences. And I wouldn't tell the teachers, because… well, that would be just the death of me, wouldn't it? So I just… hoped for the best, but expected the worst. It wasn't like I… like I  _ knew  _ what I’m doing wrong at that time, I wasn't, like… wow, they hate me because I’m doing this and that. I realized this much, much later. But then, when I was there and I was fifteen, seventeen and  _ dying  _ to disappear for good, I... “ 

The therapist looks a bit startled now. Like she can't imagine this herself. She also didn't expect Mr. Uchiha to open himself up to her. 

“It’s kinda obvious, now, isn't it…” Sasuke chuckles a little apologetically. “I… ehm. I wanted to kill myself of course, like a lot of edgy kids these days. I don't know, suicide was kinda popular when I was in school, maybe we were all too obsessed with emo bands, I don't know. I took my mother's pills, ended up vomiting for two days, and then I was okay. I tried again, and I would be successful, but my mother found me by accident and called an ambulance.” 

“What did you feel then, when you woke up and your mother was there, probably asking you why you did this to yourself?” 

“Ah, you think she stayed in the hospital to see if I’m okay?” Sasuke chuckles and shakes his head. “No, madam… no. She didn't even go into the hospital. She sent my father. And he told me he expected me to behave like a man, not like a hysterical pansy, I remember it…,” Sasuke chuckles again, “like it was yesterday.” 

“You and your mother never talked about it?” the therapist asks, taking off her glasses, her notes forgotten on the table now. 

“No. The first time she smiled at me and hugged me was when I didn't see her for eleven months when I was studying at university abroad, and I came home for Christmas. And that was five years later.” 

“Did your relationship get better?” 

_ No, she just started to pretend in front of me just like she does in front of my father.  _

“Yes, I hope… I hope we are getting on much better.” 

“I'm glad… to hear that, Mr. Uchiha.” 


	12. Chapter 12

Sasuke spent the weekend partying like never in his life. Like he was back in college and found what life really can be like. Alcohol, sex, bad music. Sakura barely keeps up with him, and she tells him as much, when they have to take a break in the ladies room. 

“You are incredible today,” she giggles and Sasuke kisses her cheek. 

“I’m in a really good mood. There is a guy at the bar who looks like he’s interested.” 

“He’s like… in his thirties,” Sakura informs him with a scandalized look. “Are you seriously going for someone that  _ young _ ?! Ew, Sasuke,  _ gross _ !” 

She playfully smacks his shoulder and mocks him, laughing at his sudden and unexpected interest in a guy only a few years older than himself, but she does give him her approval, when they get back to the club’s dancefloor and Sakura has a good look at the guy. God, he’s  _ hot _ . 

While Sakura has no clue what is it that changed Sasuke’s taste so suddenly, Sasuke himself knows one thing for sure - his personal assistant doesn't know it, yet, but his entire world is soon to be controlled by one certain Uchiha Sasuke. And the young man he decided to spice things up on the dancefloor? That is just the perfect time management. And honestly, this club isn't a place his usual fuck-buddies would hang out, so young and fearless males is what he can get. The kissing is weirdly youtfull, and so is the groping and dry humping. With the music and faceless bodies around them, Sasuke has to admit this is something he enjoys, as drunk with vodka and success he is. 

Sakura urges him to take the young man home, but Sasuke knows for sure he’d be disappointed. Instead he uses his own hand, multiple times a night, and his colourful and wild imagination - what ifs, and what about this and that… 

And when Monday morning rolls over, Sasuke is not only fully rested and excited, but also perfectly ready, with plans and ideas that would get him either arrested, or killed in self defense. He knows he needs help, and he also knows where to get it, when it comes to it. But for now, he’s smiling politely, trying to look professional and cool while most of the morning trying to appear as defenceless and as cute as he could. 

“Naruto, can you please take the red and blue papers - the, not the other one,” Sasuke navigates very nervous Naruto. “No, on the other side…” 

He actually gets up and takes the papers he needs himself, gently offering them for Naruto to carry. “These ones.” 

“Ah - I’m… I’m sorry, I’ll - It makes no sense to me yet, I’ll learn quickly, promise!” 

“I know, that’s alright. Can you please accompany me to a meeting with balance dep?” 

“Yes, sure thing, sir,” Naruto stands up and salutes cheerily, to which Sasuke timidly giggles. 

He wants to show his new assistant he’s oh so obviously gay, but Naruto doesn't seem to either catch on, or he doesn't care. Maybe he’s just too polite and won't comment on Sasuke’s obvious behavior. 

Sasuke doesn't know what he wants from this. Does he want to tell Naruto who he is, that they went to highschool together? Does he want to start a conversation on gay rights? Does he want to ask him about his football team and whether he ever bullied someone, or was bullied? Does he want to, in conversation over lunch, admit to the young man he was offered the job for the solemn reason of Sasuke’s entertainment? Or should he just enjoy his price without Naruto M. Namikaze ever understanding why this is happening…? 

His assistant his doing admirably well on the meeting - he doesn't talk, only does what Sasuke asks him to, and when Sasuke looks for the right presentation in his laptop, Naruto gets up, shows him where the pres is, and then sits back down without a word. Naruto decides to invite him for lunch one more time today. 

“Did your mum go to my HR?” he asks, when they are choosing yet again off their menus. 

“Yes!” Naruto exclaims rather too loudly, but Sasuke finds his childish, happy face rather amusing. “Uh, I’m sorry - didn't mean to yell, I just… yes, she went there and… the HR told her she can work basically the same as she was, just for… only six hours a day, for a higher salary than she had while working full time for the publisher. Thank you so much for this, I was… I don't even know how to thank you - or what can I do for you.” 

“Don't worry about this,” Sasuke gestures for the waiter and asks for the specials today, twice, as he winks at his employee. “I’m happy you’re here. And thank you for the help in the meeting, I was afraid I left the pres at home.” 

“You emailed me a copy this morning, so I added it into your calendar in Outlook.” 

“Oh - so I didn't save the pres myself?!” Sasuke was so sure he did… but then again, his mind is full of something else rather than work. 

“No,” Naruto smiles sheepishly and takes the water just to do something with his hands. 

Sasuke raises his brow - okay, Naruto actually did save his life, then. Kakashi was present at the meeting, the CEO is sure now he’d report everything to Fugaku - well, he was his father’s friend from college and one of the main members of the Company’s executive, of course he’s to report everything Sasuke does back to the company founder. “I… wow, okay. See, that’s why I need you here.” 

“I’m happy I could help, Sasuke.” 

There’s a certain amount of… arousal, in Naruto, who as a child never called Sasuke by his name, only by disgusting title, usually “faggot”, or “loser”, but sometimes, he got inspired or extra evil, is now calling him by his first name when they are alone, but will adress him as “sir” in meetings, or when they have company. It’s a strange thing, to see the boy who was the ruler of his personal hell, and the biggest source of jerk-off material, is now treating him with so much respect, with… with  _ admiration  _ that is forming in his eyes. 


	13. Chapter 13

“Everything okay?” Naruto asks, slightly concerned - his employer is looking at him for way too long, and he looks like he’s lost in his thoughts. 

“Oh - yes, sorry, I got… ehm, please, don't take this wrong, it’s just… the head secretary, Karin, she said, when I hired you, that there’s finally some eye candy around - I didn't notice as much when I was hiring you, but… eh, I’m - please, pardon me, I was… this was really inappropriate, I’m just... “ 

Naruto looks away, and yes, he is blushing, but he’s also smiling. He’s trying to cover it up by biting down his lower lip, but it’s obvious… he’s deeply pleased by this information. “I - no, don't… apologize, I’m… ugh, I… I don't actually know how to say this, I... “ 

“You can tell me anything.” 

And there is something else now in Sasuke’s mind - not some sick games or the past or some inappropriate arousal in this. The knowledge in this single sentence means something deeper, emotionally whole. Later that week he realized, it was a pang of the possibility of having… a friend. 

No masterplan, no revenge, no game, no sick plan, no blackmailing, no emotional manipulation. 

Just the simplicity of… friendship, protected by all moral codes of trust and devotion Sasuke never thought he could have through blatant social agreement. 

“It’s… ehm. Impossible,” Naruto chooses from his vocabulary after a small pause, “to… not notice your, ehm, lacy underwear, so I…” 

Sasuke straightens a bit and it takes everything in him not to smirk, not to impolitely,  _ rudely _ , laugh out loud.  _ So he did notice, and pretended he didn't for… _

...for what? To stay polite? For what reason - did his humanity change, did his opinion on gay people, or fasnionably distinctive people, change, or was he just polite, did he just understand his place in life and in this company, was it gratitude for this job? - Sasuke didn't know. But he needed to be careful now. 

“I - ehm,” Sasuke appears shy now, looking down. “I’m sorry, if that makes you feel inappropriate, or-!” 

“No, Sasuke, no, of course not!” Naruto immediately leans forward, and for a moment it looks like he wants to touch Sasuke’s hand on the table, like he wants to comfort him, show him sympathy, make sure his boss doesn't… feel… what? Exasperated? Embarrassed? ...Victimized? 

“I mean - originally, I wanted to hire a girl as an assistant, for… for obvious reasons - I wasn't… ehm.” 

“What do you mean - obvious reasons?” Naruto asks. 

“I - well, look at me. I’m a tiny, gay CEO, I can't possibly defend myself if I hired a guy just like you - therefore I feel safer with girls, and girls are usually fine with gay bosses, since there is no danger in them ever being harrassed, you see, so this would work for us the same, but I - None of the girls were fitting this job, most of them didn't take this job seriously, and I didn't have the trust in any of them to remain loyal to me, so I chose you, I - I understand if you want to quit the job for this reason-” 

Sasuke never, ever in his entire life felt more alive then right now, pretending to be scared, tiny, gay,  _ defenceless  _ sweetheart for Naruto to look exasperated, taken aback, slightly panicked. 

“You think I- no, of course I don't - Sasuke!” Naruto lowers his voice in volume as well as range, which not only makes Sasuke half hard instantly, but also sets something off in his mind. He’s nearly shaking now - it’s excitement, the  _ thrill  _ he expected, but Naruto, luckily to the situation, interprets it as fear, maybe anxiety. “Do you think  _ I _ wanna quit this amazing job because  _ you  _ are gay?! What the--- I would never - oh  _ gods _ , you are the nicest person I know, I don't want to quit over something like this!” his tone is slow, urgent but nice, soothing. 

Sasuke feels his dick hardening further.

Sasuke can't tell if he’s lying, if he’s putting on a professional, moral face he’s learned through life, if he recognized Sasuke and hopes he doesn't remember him, or if he’s serious, and actually changed his opinion on gay people in barely eleven years. 

Naruto sees what Sasuke wants him to see in his face, so of course it’s Naruto who goes on even further: “I - ehm, I’m sorry for assuming, but even the… the day of the job interview, you were looking at me with… I assumed you.. ehm, well, you mentioned the eye candy, so I figured you… ehm, fancy me.” 

_ Fancy me _ , Sasuke in his mind raises an ironical brow. How  _ educated _ . 

“And when - I, eh, I’m not… I didn't mean to overstep my boundaries, sir, I’m sorry,” the Namikaze stops himself. 

“You assumed you… got the job because… I’m gay, and I fancied you,” Sasuke says and tries to stay sweet, innocent. 

Inside, he’s ugly laughing at the poor boy. 

“I… I’m sorry for assuming so, sir. I’m sure you had your reasons - I’m really grateful, nonetheless-!” 

Sasuke decides to play along, as he hastily pushes his black hair behind his ear. “I didn't… hire you for that purpose, I - you were just the only oe who matched my… ehm. … I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable by… that.”

“Who… said anything about making me uncomfortable, sir?” Naruto discreetly smiles at Sasuke. “I’m flattered, really.” 

Sasuke can't stop his surprised face there, but at least he can stop the smirk, forming on his lips. “I... “ 

They are actually interrupted by the waiter, bringing them their lunch. There is a moment of silence and thank you’s, and bon appetits. When they are alone again, Sasuke can't help but ask: “You… don't mind working for me, then?” 

“I absolutely don't, sir, I’m genuinely happy to be here. Thrilled, really,” Naruto grins, as he digs in. 

“It’s… Sasuke, remember?” 

“Yes, I know, I just… ehm, we.. we seemed to have a misunderstanding, and I didn't… I mean, I really don't want to overstep any boundaries, and I understand we need to… eh, get used to each other. I’m happy to work for you, whether you wear leather jackets or… or lacy underwear. I just - I mean, is it… comfortable?” 

Sasuke nearly chokes on his food, and Naruto quickly apologizes. “No - ehm, no need to apologize, I… should have expected - I-I, eh, I don't usually... “ Sasuke pauses, looks Naruto in his honest, sky blue eyes, breathes out and then chuckles. He’s having fun. Actual, real, unpretended,  _ fun _ . “I don't… usually get asked… ehm. You see, straight guys in front of me tend to be either strictly professional, or really awkward, they don't… treat me this casually.” 

Naruto looks uncertain for a while and Sasuke’s senses sharpen; does Naruto remember him? Does he know what he is referring to? Is he playing some kind of a game with Sasuke? And can Sasuke tell if Naruto is lying or scheming? But Naruto has another bite or two, before he says: “If you are comfortable with it, I’d love to treat you… about certain things… casually. I mean, like, things like asking you if your lacy underwear is comfortable.” 

“It doesn't… weird you out,” Sasuke asks, serious. “Or… I don't know… threaten you in your sense of masculinity or… something?” 

“No,” Naruto laughs shortly. “Of course it doesn't. You said it yourself, you are quite tiny, you absolutely don't have it in your nature, I think, to ever harm anyone - yet alone me. C’mon, I’m twice as big as you.” 

He means it in a good nature, he’s a bit teasing, and he’s oh so terribly  _ wrong _ . Sasuke is  _ perfectly  _ capable of hurting his old bully, and is, by all means, intending so, after he settles for a plan. He’s got many ideas, many of them are beyond human comprehension and some of them are so crazy he himself for a while doubts he’s human. 

“So when my eyes linger on you, you are sure you can protect yourself,” Sasuke mumbles silently, exaggerating, just to see Naruto's reaction. 

“Wh-what, are you suggesting that when you look at my perfect biceps for like, three seconds, I’ll what, stand up and punch you in your face or what?” Naruto laughs - straigh out laughs. “Sasuke, please. I’m mostly flattered, really. Every guy loves to hear he’s handsome, or he’s got some good looking muscles - and most of us don't care if it’s a girl or a guy who says it. By all means, if you want to boost my ego, look as much as you want! I know you are aware I’m straight and therefore obviously… not interested, and I don't think you are… at all… interested in me, in anything but maybe the…” and he chuckles at that, “the eye candy.” 

Sasuke offers a small, shy smile, and a nod, and takes a few bites again. When he looks up, Naruto is watching him with a strange, soft look in his eyes. 

“What is it?” Sasuke asks, genuinely confused. 

Naruto shakes his head a bit, obviously… alarmed? Maybe not exactly this word, it’s not that intense, it’s more of… concern? Maybe just a little bit of care? Sasuke can't tell if it’s pretended, or honest. “No, just… I - am I… personally… do I make you uncomfortable?” 

That’s not a question, for some reason, Sasuke expected at all. “...Y-yes.” 

Inside, Sasuke’s ugly laughter gets louder. 

Naruto suddenly looks smaller in his seat. “Oh. I… I’m sorry, what can I - what can I do to… not… what can I do? To make you feel comfortable around me?” 

“This…” Sasuke gently looks up, making sure he bites his lips so he appears as cute and as innocent as possible. “You… being… understanding is… helping.” 

Sasuke is aware he might be overdoing this, but it works perfectly for Naruto, who immediately and obviously softens towards his boss. “Tell me immediately if I do anything that… makes you uncomfortable. I don't ever want to… I would never forgive myself, if I ever hurt you by accident.” 

Sasuke on the outside just silently thanks his assistant, making sure nothing in his mimics or body language or tone changes, nothing can reveal his true, cruel intentions. 

  
_ Yet _ .


	14. Chapter 14

“You look even happier today,” his therapist welcomes him. “What is it?” 

“Well, I stick to your suggestions. Maybe you were right and I was… due to my traumas I mean, mostly… excluding everyone out of my life. So I tried to get a bit more personal to people I like. My… I think I can call her my good friend, her name is Sakura - she’s the one who recommended therapy, by the way - we… usually just talk about work and you know, small talk, but we… spend some time together, and we talked about other things too and it was… rather nice.” 

“You say you talked about other things. What does this mean?” 

“Well, about… ehm. My father and her father, some… issues, both of us. We drank together, and talked about us, and our presence. Not like, complaining to each other, mostly just… getting to know each other better, deeper. That… made me feel really good.” 

“I’m proud of you, Mr. Uchiha, you seem to be getting better. I’m sure this isn't your only source of such a good mood. What else happened, or changed?” 

“Well, I finally have a personal assistant, so I don't have as much work, and he’s really good at doing what he does, so that helps me with a lot of headache,” Sasuke chuckles. “And the lunch at my parents house wasn't as bad as I feared. It was… awkward, but it wasn't bad. My mother talked about golf, and my father about some plans for next season with the company.” 

“So you’d call it rather a success?” 

“Well, yes, I think.” 

_ As per usual, we never talked about anything we all have in common. That wouldn't end well.  _

“You mentioned your time spent with Sakura, your friend - what was… that you want her to know, but won't probably tell her? And why?” 

“That… I tried to kill myself, repeatedly, I think?” Sasuke offers, nonchalant about it. Like it happened to someone else. And honestly, most of the time, he really feels like that’s exactly how it was. “Because… well, I mean… people usually treat me differently. My father thought I was a pansy, my mother stopped basically talking to me, the people that found me when I was at university were tiptoeing around me for weeks, even if we, two weeks before, were regularly going out and drinking… the doctors were treating me as if I was mentally retarded or what - nah, I was just… sad, and lonely.” 

“Do you think you were depressed?” 

“I was actually diagnosed with clinical depression, but I don't think the pills helped much. I felt even worse, so I stopped taking them.” 

“What was the last time you tried to commit?” 

“Uh, I actually don't know. I think when I sliced my wrists a few weeks before bachelor’s final state exams…? I remember I had a boyfriend who broke up with me, and I had some issues with studying, and my father called me in to seriously tell me if I fail, he’ll cross me out of his will. And of course, the loneliness. I lived in a two bedroom apartment on my own, and when he broke up with me - it was just a few dates, nothing serious, but in my eyes, that was yet another sign of… failure?” Sasuke offers. 

“What happened with that attempt? Did you change your mind, or someone found you?” 

“Yes, it was a… one of the rich kids that lived in the same apartment building knocked, he knew I’m home, we met a few minutes before in the elevator. He wanted to borrow something, I don't… recall what it was, and I wasn't answering. I heard him knock, I heard him yell my name and to open up, but I didn't… really care. 

Do you - ehm, you probably know that feeling, when a large amount of blood is leaving your body, it’s like… like you are… there’s no pain at the beginning. Then you feel the nausea, and you feel weak in your knees, so you have to sit down, then you lay down. You feel your head getting heavier, your blood pressure lowers, your ears are ringing, your head feels like it’s gonna explode, your body is covered in cold sweat. You are shaking, and you feel your body giving up, even moving your hand feels like too heavy, and then it gets better, because you are tired and you are losing all control over your body and mind. And in the end, you just don't care. You are way too tired.” 

“That’s when the neighbour found you?” 

“Yes, he broke in. He… well, everyone remembered me taking some pills earlier that year and what not, and… I don't know. He stopped the bleeding, he was a med student. He then… I don't know, it was… I managed to have a few kids to… I don't know, talk a bit, get drunk. I wasn't… I didn't have friends there, not like that, nothing personal, but I wasn't bullied or… you know, I wasn't the outsider anymore, I was just a kid, and the other kids were okay with it. We were doing our projects, and we were talking about school mostly, and then I met few lesbians, some bisexual girls, few gay guys, and it wasn't as weird anymore. I wasn't… the weird kid, because few of the other kids were gay or introverted or somehow had their own little worlds, you see. The med student was… we were not friends, never were, but he then… it was weird. He felt like, after he helped me, you see, he was somehow… responsible for me. And he sometimes came by just to stay with me, talk a bit, cook us dinner, watch a movie. We never talked about what happened or why. He then found a girlfriend, and I shortly after had my state final exams and passed, and then I attended another university, I think it was in France, and he didn't have the time for me, but I was kinda glad I’m not robbing him off of his time, you know? I knew I wasn't… like, the friend you’d love to have, I’m not funny, I’m not friendly, I’m not making it easy for anyone to be close to me.” 

His therapist looks at him and smiles encouragingly: “You opened up to me to say the least. That helped to open up to Sakura, be personal with her, trust her with some of your personal information. And I think you are… there is an aura that surrounds you with… It’s… It’s kind of obvious you are… hard to get to. But I noticed, in the past few weeks, you are getting friendlier. Even the aura around you is changing a bit, and I think you might be more open, now that you are starting to realize your past wasn't normal, your family life wasn't normal, and you are dealing with things of your past and of your present. I also think people can see it, too. That something… bad happened to you, long time ago. That it isn't your fault you… are having hard times at making friends.” 

“I guess you are right,” Sasuke agrees. “I just hired a new assistant, as you know, and people, especially new people around me, are usually… well, I make them stiff, you see. I don't… I’m always professional, I’m always… I don't… I can't be friendly, casual, calm. I’m… there’s just something in me, and I can't… I just can't. But my assistant is… really friendly around me. He’s… I don't know. He seems relaxed, understanding. I never… especially from heterosexual guys who know I’m gay - it’s kinda obvious, isn't it - I’ve never experienced this.” 

“Why do you think he’s relaxed around you?” 

“That’s… I don't know. Mostly I think he might have someone in his family or close friends who is gay, or who is traumatized, or both. That he knows what it is like, he understands. Could be that.” 

“Do you think the change in you, in your… stance towards new people, could be what caused his friendliness?” 

“...Well, maybe, slightly. But not entirely.” 

The therapist makes a note, and then asks another question. “You said you were diagnosed with depression. Do you still feel depressed?” 

“No, absolutely not. I think lately… I’m slowly finding my true self. And even if I don't go by the standard of, you know, having a family and all that, I think I’m quite happy, and quite settled now.” 

“What is the main reason for you to feel like this?” the therapist asks. 

_ Naruto M. Namikaze.  _

“My work, slowly being able to find friends, trying to work on issues with my father.” 

“You mentioned your father as… the biggest issue of your childhood, from what you told me, aside of the bullying - and we’ll come back to it in another of our sessions -; but you don't seem to blame your mother, who was… I don't think she was quite a mother to you.” 

Sasuke can't but agree. Well, the truth is, maybe if he were straight, his issues would be about his mother more. Who knows. 

“I’m not sure. I… I think a lot of this comes from I understand she didn't have it easy. She was basically sold, like I told you. She wasn't my mother per se, she didn't help me with my homework, she didn't teach me how to make friends, she didn't talk to me, she didn't punish me or praise me, or guide me. She didn't give me advice, she didn't teach me to cook or to… take care of the house, or how to dress myself. Half of these things I had my nanny teach me, the other half I learned myself, somehow. And while my mother had really just… she didn't really talk to me, she avoided me most of my childhood, she only did what I told you. The birthday party, the not carring after I tried to kill myself… but that’s it. She didn't… she didn't hurt me as much as my father, I think.” 


	15. Chapter 15

“You say your mother didn't punish you or praise you. Do you remember when you were praised by your parents for something, when you were a child?” 

“Hn… no. I’m not gonna lie, I think my mother said something like “good job”, or “great”, when I was accepted to university, but from childhood, like before I was, let’s say, 18, 19? No, I don't recall. There was nothing to praise me for, I think.” 

“Your mother mostly avoided you. What about your father? You said he was rarely home.” 

“Yes, when I was in the Academy, he was never really there. I think it was because he realized I was gay and there was nothing he could do about it, so he gave up. But when I was like 9 to 14, he was home more often. Once, twice a week. Too often, if you ask me.” 

“So during that time, do you remember the worst thing your father did to you?” 

“Oh, there’s plenty, and I can't point at one or two of them being the worst. It’s… serie of things. Like, for example, I remember when I was maybe eleven, when he took me to a football training with his old university friends and their children. The children decided I’ll be the goalkeeper, so for an hour straight they kicked footballs at me and laughed at it. One of the balls kicked me so hard into my stomach I fell to my knees and vomited. I started crying and tried to run to my father to tell him what happened. My father laughed and told me to get up and act like a man. I had no other option than to go back and let the kids beat me up more. When I tried to avoid the balls, the kids yelled at me, and when I tried to catch it or kick it back or something, it hurt, and the kids laughed. I got hit multiple times in my head, because eventually the kids just started to kick the balls at me at the same time, not just one at a time, and I threw up three, four more times. I was a crying mess, I remember I eventually tried to hide in the corner of the net, sitting down, head on my knees and trying to protect my head. It was one of the worst things I’ve been through so far - I don't remember this much pain. 

My father, when he heard the kids laughing at me, when he saw my entire shirt and pants were covered with vomit and I was crying and maybe the bruises were already seen, he yelled at me for ruining every fun, and slapped me in the back of my skull. I was never in my life as relieved as I was when he told me that I’m never coming with him again. 

And the next one was… I was older, really, maybe fourteen. And my father caught me masturbating - well, that wouldn't be as bad, and he’d just leave the room with no word at all, if he didn't notice the male sportsmen magazine.  _ His  _ male sportsmen magazine, open on the bed next to me. I don't remember if it was a coincidence, or if it was my masturbating material, I honestly don't know. But he took me as I was, pants down, my erection still visible, he threw me over his knees and spanked me raw. Like, really raw. I didn't scream, I just cried, and I was… I was a mess really, because my sexuality - or my… My idea of my sexuality was already a mess for me. It was something I didn't hear anywhere, see anywhere, It just was what it was, really. And I was going through the phase where… you know, where you find out what you like, what are you into, what… you know what I mean. And my father came and, with my erection still up, he beat me. It was something I didn't… I remember laying on my stomach after he took the magazine and slammed the door behind himself, crying, and… well, with my dick still hard for some reason. So I reached down, still crying and… well. 

This was probably… I mean, he could just wait. If he waited, let me… be presentable, and then he’d just without a word spanked me, that would probably make less damage than it had done I think. I mean - my father never saw me naked, probably ever, not even as a baby. And then he went in my room - he never did that before by the way - and just… takes me at my vulnerable, at something that I personally didn't have much experience with, especially tied to my sexuality as it was, and he spanked my naked bum. I mean. C’mon.” 

“You are seeing this from the right perspective. Even if I don't understand why your father would ever do that, it truly could have been just a coincidence, you said the magazine was next to you - did you see in it?” 

“No, I remember my eyes were closed till he came in.” 

“Then you see the situation from a good perspective. Your father had no right to do what he’s done. And even if he wanted to, he still chose the worst possible scenario.”

“Well, what really fucked me up, sorry for my language, I don't really have any suitable synonyms for what that left me at, is… that I stayed hard. Can you… try explaining why?” 

The therapist takes a while to think. “I think there could be many different psychological reasons. I honestly think it is what it is when you are around this age. It simply could have been a shock, your body just… didn't follow your mind’s reality. It was probably something you didn't even want to believe. And you still masturbating after, was simply just to… level up the situation. Maybe trying to pass it as something like a bad dream, that it didn't happen. I mostly think it was a shock. But there could be a deeper psychological reason. Depends on… did this situation play a role in your sexual life?” 

Sasuke tilts his head to the side, as he slowly nods. “It’s… not exactly like that, but I do choose a certain type of men, who… don't mind overpraising me. I’m not into BDSM, or even some light spanking during sex, that’s… ehm, actually a red flag, or trigger, mind you, for me.” 

“In this case, I truly think it was mostly a shock. And you had every right to react the way you did.” 

“I always thought I was some kind of sick pervert for… you know. But, shock seems like a good explanation, thank you. I also remember a few more situations that were, mostly, my father wanting me to be like him. He told me I disappointed him when I didn't get into the wrestling team or what - I didn't even go to the try outs, I wasn't suicidal yet then - and I didn't get into the football team of course, I didn't go there either. I tried to get to the swimming team and at that I succeeded. My father rolled his eyes, but obviously, at least some sport I could do. It was obvious he saw me as a failure by then already of course. I wasn't excellent at school, I just didn't have the energy to study that well.” 

“You told me you were in the Academy, I presume some kind of private school?” 

“Yes, Academy for super talented kids, haha no. It was a place where the teachers didn't really say anything, because the kids had really rich parents. So it was mostly, let the kids do what they want and their parents will give us money and recognition we need. It wasn't anything special. There were classes you could take for some… americans call it “advanced placement”, here it was classes like “Introduction to the study of law” or management, or psychology or whatever. I obviously took law so my father would be proud, and it turned out he was as disappointed as always, if he even knew about it, but I was actually quite happy there. The kids there were smart and focused only on themselves. They didn't care about anything and anyone, only them, their success, their education, their chosen university, their plans, you see. Noone cared I was there too, usually hidden somewhere close to the walls, somewhere I wasn't seen. But eventually I found out noone cares there, and I started studying law, actually studying. The next semester I took another introduction, for management, then for creative writing, then for psychology and so on.” 

“You took a class for creative writing? Why exactly? I mean, I understand all the others, obviously to get the knowledge to pass university exams, and to make your father proud, but why creative writing?” 

“Ah, it was a thing back then. There were all the weird kids, you see. The guys who loved anime and manga, girls obsessed with romance, some people who wanted to go study PR, journalism or maybe some language and all that. But it was… I mean, I used to write really weird… eh,” Sasuke actually chuckles, when he remembers the old days. “You call it… slash, I think. There was a part in my life, and I was like sixteen or so, and I had a phase where I was writing like… short stories. Some implemented scenarios I’d love for them to happen to me, like, ya novels about love in high school, you know. Like, the bullied one gets saved by someone, and then they fall in love, and live happily ever after. There was of course porn included. I think those stories might have been the only reason I survived the entire of my Academy years.” 

“Do you still write?” the therapist asks. 

“No, well… don't have the time for it, but maybe…” Sasuke can see it happening now. His porn now would be on an entirely different level. “Maybe I could now….?”

“You definitely could,” the therapist encourages him. “I know some people with childhood traumas use therapeutic writing in a form of short stories or poetry, coding them somehow that their stories, their way of capturing and telling the story not only helps them to “get it out” of themself, but also, with modern options, they can publish those stories for others, maybe with similar issues, to read. Recognition might help, too, even if noone will read them. It’s just the possibility that your stories are somewhere available to read, are public, and anyone can get to know you through your stories without knowing who you are, speaking of for example some blog or a forum, this can also be therapeutic, if you are this type of person.”

Sasuke never thought about writing for fun and publishing it. Even if only on some blog, or a portal or what. This idea seems to be appealing to him so much, he actually wants to  _ try _ . 

“Maybe it can help you to find friends when your identity - and you too - stay hidden behind a made up persona with some kind of an alias. But that’s up to you to decide whether it’s something that could work for you.” 

“Having my feelings exposed, and my traumas, without anyone knowing my name, my face, or my real story,” Sasuke contemplates slowly. “I think you might be right again - when I was a child, or young, I never published anything, I didn't… you know, didn't have the courage for it. But now, after… I think… I think I might try.” 


	16. Chapter 16

Sasuke was sitting in front of his laptop, playing with his alias. He can't really find the one fitting him. He just wrote a short story about a certain tiny young submissive CEO who hires a new dom asistant - of course they fuck on the table in the office. It’s not bad per se, maybe a bit too explicit, but he decides it’s a good start of his personal blog. Then it hits him, when he looks at his own name. 

He signs his first short story as SassyUke. He actually laughs at this, and imagines what look Fugaku would have on his face, knowing his son writes gayporn online. Sasuke publishes this story and closes the laptop, opting to cook himself dinner. 

He can't stop the memories of Naruto that come to his mind everytime he doesn't have to focus too much. He’s attentive, relaxed, calm, and always happy to help. He’s learning quite fast, and while Sasuke thought this is going to be a quick shit show, he actually enjoys the way him and Naruto found a rhythm. This week was quite calm, Naruto was glued to his side, carrying his things for him, opening doors for him, even driving him downtown on occasion. Sasuke felt drunk with power he didn't realize he possessed. 

It’s mostly because everyone in the company knew Fugaku Uchiha, the  _ real  _ boss there, therefore noone really respected Sasuke that much. Not that they didn't respect him, they more of… knew Sasuke is noone in comparison to Fugaku Almighty, the big boss. Naruto only knows Sasuke in the position of CEO, he’s yet to meet the company’s founder, and the director of executive. With Naruto next to him, who is quite literally twice as big as him - and basically made of muscles, Sasuke suspects - Sasuke feels more important. Like his assistant is some kind of a sign of his power. 

One of those moments were when Sasuke had to lead a conference with his french partner company for the first time (Sasuke was happy he could show off his accent), and he felt incredibly good, when Naruto was standing next to him, making sure Sasuke is perfectly visible on the camera in his spot by the table, he opened a water bottle for him, set important documents and a flash drive on the table, as he himself sat by Sasuke’s right hand, making notes of important things. He looked so professional, like he was doing this job for years and not barely a few days. Sasuke translated important parts of the conference and Naruto was writing it down on his laptop, and although he didn't understand a word of french, as he himself told Sasuke earlier, he, at the end of the conference, said his goodbye in french. Sasuke praised his accent and Naruto gave him one of the happy grins. 

Sasuke didn't even realize his hand was in his pants when he was, after his small dinner, sitting in his comfortable armchair. He just remembered what happened today, and left his hand where it was, slowly caressing his hardening dick. 

Naruto was an amazing adition to his work routine. Having someone in the office with him for most of the day was refreshing, too. Naruto was happy to do anything Sasuke asked him to, from running down the floor to get some documents or preparing some notes for the next meeting, bringing Sasuke his favourite frappé from Starbucks, to follow him everywhere he went. He also seemed perfectly oblivious to all the looks Sasuke allowed himself - Naruto either didn't notice he is watched, or he knew and decided to ignore it as being the “eye candy” he knows he is. To be perfectly honest, Naruto seemed to give a thought to what he was wearing now, too. His pants are always dark or black, usually skinny jeans, fitting to his body perfectly, while his shirts are usually white or blue. Always long sleeved, never showing much skin, but sometimes, when the lightning is good, Sasuke can see through the fabric. Sometimes he can see his perky niples, sometimes his abs he isn't even flexing, sometimes just his sun kissed skin on his collarbones. 

Sasuke, in the meantime, is jerking himself off in a slow, lazy tempo, his thoughts lost in blue eyes and golden hair, in tanned skin, perfect abs, his grin, his trust, his obvious soft spot for Sasuke. His last thought before his orgasm is Naruto’s v-line he can perfectly imagine, but he’d love to see. 

The thing is, he realizes when he’s falling asleep in his cold, empty bed, the therapist was right. He’d love to have… a friend. 

  
  


**~~~sns~~~**

  
  


Sasuke knows he’s not popular among the company. Most people hate him, because he modernized most of the processes, the managers now have to actually work and report on it back to Sasuke, and people who work at services, support or back office hate him for the programs in their PCs, so the IS always know if they are actually working on the computer, if they are gone for more than 10 minutes, and who is their supervisor and should report to his managers everything that crosses those lines. He also isn't popular with the executive and the board, because they are all Fugaku’s friends, old schoolmates, partners and whatever, so they look at Sasuke from above. And the head managers on Sasuke’s floor don't really like him, they mostly think Sasuke is just another spoiled only child who got daddy’s company, they don't talk to him much, but they do love to gossip, and who is better to diss than the CEO. 

So when Sasuke enters their floor and he sees Naruto happily chatting with Karin and Gaara, who is nearly as cold as his father, but now he seems to be interested in what Naruto has to say, he isn't surprised they all stop smiling and chatting, and immediately go back to their work. Sasuke holds his head high, and while he does call a “good morning, everyone” and receives all their “good morning” back, he knows he’s not welcomed in their little bubble. He’s the boss, the entire company is his slave, he doesn't just gossip with the managers. He’s fine with the girls from invoice and balance, they are nice and simple - like Sakura -, but the higher positions, he’s aware they don't really like him. 

Naruto, when he sees his boss, leaves their little group and immediately follows Sasuke into the office. 


	17. Chapter 17

“Good morning, Sasuke,” he greets him privately and sets a cup of coffee on his table. 

“Good morning,” the CEO repeats, sitting down and getting his laptop. “Thank you.” 

“We have a meeting with PR today, they need the report on the meeting with corporations and trading companies. And you have to be present for the afternoon meeting with the executive, they want to talk about a new logo for the company. I, ehm, I should probably know that, but Fugaku Uchiha… is your father?” 

Sasuke looks up momentarily - his assistant is actually doing the job Sasuke hoped he will. He’s smart, intelligent, attentive, he learned quickly what is important and what are the priorities. Sasuke didn't expect him to be actually good at this job. He even got his favourite coffee order right. “Yes… yes. He’s… ehm, my father, founder and head of the top management and executive.” 

Naruto sees the look in his face and he opens his mouth, but then changes his mind and closes them once again. 

“What was it,” Sasuke asks, letting his laptop be for now, focusing on his assistant. “You wanted to say something, what was it?” 

“Well, nothing… I have the right to know, so… I don't want to overstep. You… have an email from him, and I didn't… I read only the first few words and - I’m sorry about that, I didn't know.” 

“No, that’s… okay. I think… I think you can read emails between my father and I, I don't consider them personal.” 

There’s something in Naruto’s face, something… painful, uncertain. “I think you should… read the email.” 

Sasuke looks at him for a while. Did his father write him something important? That rarely happened, especially when they saw each other this sunday. Sasuke listens and finds his father’s email. 

_ Sasuke,  _

_ I can't come today to our Wednesday’s swimming due to my second stage of kidney cancer. Due to the same reason, I can't be present in meetings this week. I’ll let you know when I’ll be able to take over my position as soon as possible. For now I trust your judgement in leading my company.  _

_ Regards,  _

_ Uchiha Fugaku, MBA, Ph.D. _

Sasuke reads the email twice, quickly. He’s way too focused on not letting an ugly, hateful grin show on his face. He’d destroy everything. 

“I’m… I’m so sorry to -” Naruto stops himself when Sasuke looks up and gets an amazing idea. This might bring him a few more orgasms in the future. 

“There’s… no reason to be,” Sasuke quietly says. “Father and I… we don't have... let’s say we aren't close.” 

Naruto stays silent, obviously doesn't know what to say. “Ah.” 

Sasuke looks up: “Our relationship is complicated. But we aren't close.” 

“It’s one… of the emails I didn't reply to,” Naruto says slowly, choosing his words wisely. 

“Please reply to him with, I’m, uh, I’m leaving the main decisions up to Hatake Kakashi, all of the decisions and reports that need his attention I’ll leave in Teams and his personal email. And I’m cancelling the swimming. Thank you.” 

Sasuke actually pretends to be calm while pretending he’s actually in a hurry to get out of his office, into the bathroom. He stays there for a while, watching himself in the mirror. Cancer. Father’s got cancer, second stage. Sasuke watches his own lips twisting into a terrible, ugly smirk that suits his face so well. This is the best day of his life. Gods love him, or there is justice in this universe, he doesn't know, but he actually lets out a small, silent laugh. He washes his hands, his face - he has to look taken aback, shocked, pained. That’s the moment when Naruto slowly enters the bathroom. 

“I’m sorry, Sasuke, are you… are you alright?”

“I- yes, yes, I am of course,” Sasuke turns around to manage his facial expresion, and dry his hands. “I’m perfectly fine.” 

“No, you-” his assistant starts, taking two steps closer to him. “You aren't. And that's… that's okay, I understand that. Can… is there anything I can do for you?” 

“No, there’s - you don't have to,” the CEO’s voice comes to a halt and breaks, and Sasuke had no idea it’s so,  _ so  _ easy to pretend. “You don't have to… do anything.” 

“C’mon,” Naruto steps a bit closer, his face is soft, soothing, understanding. He slowly reached out and touched Sasuke’s arm. 

It’s electrifying. It’s the wolf licking the sheeps injury in hope the sheep will heal better, sooner. The hand that once held him with dominant power, with promise of pain, now touches him ever so lightly, with promise of comfort. Sasuke’s head is spinning, his hands are trembling, but he turns around and just lets it happen however Naruto wants it.

It’s like planets crashing into one another. 

Sasuke is held in Naruto’s strong arms, watching his own face becoming not only ugly smug, but also filled with emotion he’s never seen in his own eyes before. And while Sasuke is plotting his next move, building a sticky, fixed, murderous web, Naruto is falling deeper into the dark, invenient pit that is Sasuke’s soul. This is it, Sasuke thinks to himself. This is my plan, this is… my  _ design _ . 

Sasuke tries really hard, but he needs to watch his facial expresion; his pretended grief, shock, sadness. He laughs in hysterical happiness and satisfaction in his mind, but in Naruto’s arms, he happens to release a shaky breath Naruto takes for distressed, judging by the low soothing sounds he makes deep in his throat. If Sasuke was a normal person, he’d feel calmed, cared for. But fucked up as he is, the tone, the situation, the person and the memory bright in his mind as if it happened yesterday, he only feels arousal. 

But as much as he wished it came directly from Naruto, his excitement was partly caused by his father, too. Sasuke could feel the deep dark hatred he has for his father, and how he hopes the pain and unpleasant treatment will take a toll on him. So much he could see his father suffering. 

But he has to wait to be able to enjoy it properly, he has to play a distressed tiny defenceless and scared gay CEO now. 

“I’m so sorry, Sasuke,” Naruto tells him quietly, as he softly pats his shoulder and after a few seconds lets him go. “I wish I could help, anyhow.” 

“I’m…” Sasuke tries to make his voice shaky, but also hopes to make it seem like he’s trying to act professional. “I’m alright, I’m-I’m sorry, this isn't-isn't professional, I’m… I’m sorry. I, uh, I… I just… just needed a moment.” 

“That’s alright, I understand. Of course I didn't tell anyone anything, and I won't. I’m right here, ready to help. Just tell me what you need and I’ll do it.” 

Sasuke looks up to see Naruto’s face looking completely serious. He’s worried. Genuine. Sasuke doesn't know what to do with so much power for a while, and then his brain reminds him:  _ Enjoy it _ . 

And so Sasuke does. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,   
> I'd love to dedicate this chapter to Magaly05, because it's her brithday! Love you, sweetheart, and I wish you the best! I love you and our conversations so much, and I am so thankful you appeared in my life so unexpectedly and so suddenly! Please enjoy your birthday and accept this simple gift^^ 
> 
> Love,   
> Lydia L.K. Clairvoyanne


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